Year of Yes

So Im trying to get into adding audio books to my regimen. My sister recommended that in this season of my life I should consider 'Year of Yes' had by Shonda Rhymes. Because I am not a "TV Person" I had never heard of this author but rumor has it that she is the writer/director of some major syndicated Fox TV Series Shows. Well anywhoo...the first few chapters lit a fire under my already gasoline saturated wood as a Warrior Princess. Say Yes for an entire year to anything that frightens you. WOW. Ummm...as a person who typically plays life safely this was a major commitment. The beautiful thing about such a declaration is that it is so unique to the individual. What scares you, may not scare me; what may be a major sacrifice of <doing> may not be a sacrifice for you. It is an opportunity to push yourself past YOUR fears. Now this does not mean you say yes when you want to say no. This is when you actually want to but feel like you cant or shouldn't or that you would neva. When the moments/opportunities come you will know it...your stomach will quiver and your mind comes up with every excuse why you cant. In an instant your spirit will say: SAY YES, SAY YES!

My first documented YES....

I got my septum pierced!!!

I have been talking about getting my septum pierced for over a year now but never really found the time or space to make it happen. After doing another very hard thing my sister wanted to go to the tattoo shop to get her nose re-pierced. I casually asked the pricing for a septum and was shocked how reasonable it was. My stomach started to quiver and my mind said:

-But Its gonna hurt. 

-But you're a professional, what are people gonna think? 

-What about your presentation next week?

blah, blah, blah, blah

Then in an instant my spirit said: SAY YES, SAY YES!

and......

I.....

DID!!!!!

It didnt hurt nearly as bad as they said it would and I can wait to kill this presentation!

Talk about pushing past your fears....that one felt good. I feel like a real liberated warrior princess now. Its only been week one. Lets see how this year goes.lol.

Although each YES may not be as rewarding, the act of doing it creates a memory that allows your life to be lived to its full. Heres to THE YEAR OD YES---Chapter 38.

Crush the Thirst

Does anybody crush anymore? I mean, old school I got my eye on you and nobody else will do kinda crush. I mean, a heart with me and your picture in it crush. I mean, daisy plucking does he love, does he love me not crush. I think they call it thirsty now. My Lord, peoples appetite today consist of more consumption, yet less filling satisfaction. My prayer is that you find that one…that one crush that wont break your heart and after the prize has been won…the crushing will never stop.

Thirty-Eight. Rain. Warrior.

Turning 38 has been quite reflective for me; Not yet 40 but far from 30. I have experienced life in many magnitudes and I stand here better and stronger...for that I am grateful. Then there is that other side of me that says: though I am grateful for the panning out of my life "working out" in such a miraculous way, I just want to be "HAPPY". This can mean something different for most people but my spirit bears witness to what that means for me. Being Happy is giving myself permission to dance in an unforcasted rain instead of looking for something to cover my head, rushing inside, spending time trying to figure out how I didnt know it was going to rain when I have 3 weather apps, then making plans to make rain boots a part of my daily carry cause I be damned if I get caught slipping again. *sigh*. That was exhausting to type...imagine what my brain does moment by moment. Happy is freedom. Happy is vulnerable. Happy is transparent. Happy is ok with mistakes.

I dont want to be grateful and content in the most solemn'ist' way but I want to be undignifiedly happy in the most Cardi B'ist' way. I dont want to function from a trauma brain when it comes to my love, my career, my health, my wealth, my God. I want to function from a comforted brain where each experience is a new one and I can be reassured/confident that no matter what all will be well concerning me. So in searching for this cross between Michelle O and Cardi B, the thought of that became ok with me.

Then I hear from Heaven...aha it is now time for you to move as the true WARRIOR PRINCESS that you are. My mouth dropped...and the tears flowed. It seems so oxymoronic but the concept brought me to my knees in a very submissive manor. A Warrior is a brave, experienced soldier. Boldness and Assurity is her portion. She is strong and mighty in battle just like her father...the King of Kings. Wisdom is the seat she sits in while Mercy is the cup she drinks from. She is dainty, She can be vain, She is a lover, She is a giver, Her heart is truly pure, but when the enemy tries to convince her she will lose; she declares that she will not go down without a fight. When the enemy tries to put fear in her heart to stop her feet from moving; she declares loudly that perfect love casts out all fear. When insecurity and rejection creeps in; she declares that she is fearfully and wonderfully made. When she feels alone; she is reminded great is thy faithfulness towards her. Ah, wonderful are the works of thy hands O' Lord.

So Who would of thought Happiness comes from walking in your true self, being exactly what you were called to be...and it takes a fight getting there. EvenMe. EvenEbony,

I have accumulated so many titles in 38 years of life...nothing like Warrior Princess though. This is less about what I do and more about who I am. Who I am will always come out in what I do. I was a Warrior Princess as a Single Woman, a Married Woman, and now a Divorced Woman. I was a Warrior Princess with no degree and I am one with three degrees. I was a Warrior Princess sitting in court as the defendant and I was a Warrior Princess as a Politician/Community Organizer. I was a Warrior Princess when I was poor and abused and I am a Warrior Princess with a lil change in my pocket and free. I WAS and AM a Warrior Princess....knowing and flowing in that is what will make me Happy.

Cheers to 38....not quite 40 but far from 30. Come on Rain...I aint playing with yo funky a**.

         

YOU ARE YOUR MOTHERS CHILD...

WELL...I havent been on here in hella moons! Wow. It feels so weird being in this particular space, considering this is kinda where it (freedom writing) all began for me. Blogging has become a thing of the past but I want to document an update and enjoy the nostalgic feeling that makes me feel so old as I am mesmerized by how this new generation documents 'lifes happenings'. I vow no matter how fancy the world gets..I will never give up pen and paper.

I am still writing "YOU ARE YOUR MOTHERS CHILD" and it will give birth to itself sooner that later is my gut feeling. So much has happened and changed and I want to share just some quick highlights with you:

My Mother: Eula Fay Duncan is no longer here with us in the flesh. Rest in Peace Mama. 

 

I cant begin to tell you what life has been like the last few years, but last year alone:

-I broke my legs and spent months restoring my ability to walk

-COVID was very real

-More civil/racial unrest

-I became unmarried

-I lost my dog of 15 years- Faith

-My transition/accident brought about a relocation and new wheels

(Thats all for now as im sure im forgetting things, I just decided to stop typing lol)

AFTER ALL THE THINGS IVE BEEN THROUGH....I STILL GOT JOY. 

Well...meet Even MeMoji which is just an extension of Even Ebony. You can find both still on my FB Page: Even Ebony. In this season yall im still writing, Im still living, Im still becoming, and I am still experiencing new freedoms as I find my way.

-Even Me---Even Ebony

2017: A year of Constants and Change

2017: A year of Constants and Change....

<The more things Change the more they stay the Same>

I end 2017 with this light hearted sarcastic tone of change and same existing together. The feeling that you survived but cant give a definite win or lose while settling for a draw.

This year life happened. This year I existed in the midst of those happenings. This year my heart and my mind I held in my hand not wanting to lose either. 

2017: When she knows the sun will rise everyday, regardless of what else is happening in her life. She undeniably feels blessed yet unsure as she feels stuck between never and forever.

2017 was not what I thought it would be as I predicted I would do something personally or professionally groundbreaking like publish or direct or something physically or spiritually ground breaking like lose weight, worry less and pray more. Instead...2017 I lived. I was present and I felt. I laughed and I cried. I gave myself permission and I asked myself for forgiveness. I heard God whisper and I saw Him make provisions in the midst of chaos and change.

They say you gotta take the bitter with the sweet and that sums up life...well 2017 was LIFE and it was lived. If 2017 didnt reveal anything it sure did confirm that I am better, stronger, and wiser. Goodbye 2017. Hello 2018.

Godlike Love

I want you to love me with a Godlike Love.

That Love that is personal.

That Love that is exclusive.

That Love.

That Love that feels like you and me with nothing else mattering.

In a room full of people we connect because our spirits speak.

That Love.

That Love that heals.

That Love that reveals.

That Love that consoles.

That Love that knows.

That Love that creates.

That Love that molds.

Yeeeees. That Love.

I want you to love me with a Godlike Love.

I want you to leave the 99 for that 1 kinda Love.

I want our love to be so uniquely woven you cant pull it apart kinda Love.

Pen to the Pad writing history kinda Love.

I want the kind of love that grows in the valley.

I want you to love me with a Godlike Love.

I want the kind of love that makes my God jealous.

I want you to love me with a Godlike Love.

Forgiving me Love.

Hearing me Love.

Seeing me Love.

When I fall off of the wall you run to put the pieces back together Love.

Youre in my dreams Love.

You are my dream Love.

When I wake up youre still there Love.

Screaming Love from the mountain top with no regrets Love.

Praying to God on how to love me like Him Love.

That’s My Love.

A New Year Has begun.....

2016 is now behind us as we stare 2017 in the face wondering what will become of this new year.

2016 was actually very good to me. Life changing milestones/markers were created this year. I am now in great anticipation of how these milestones will manifest into future magnitude! We will be able to say that 2016 is where it all began or maybe where the light bulb turned on or where IT all started to make sense or came full circle for that matter :).....

 The first quarter of the year I was comfortable with the idea of cohabitation and trusting my heart in the hands of another. During this time it had become clear that my grandmother was dying of cancer and no longer just living with it. Her words became nods. No more eating. Just sleeping and waiting. The Hospice House took good care of her and those last moments were solemn. She was the matriarch of our family and her absence will be forever felt. All the questions and insecurities about my upbringing where laid to rest...none of it mattered. I was at peace and so was she.

The second quarter of the year I got engaged! Whooo Hooo! Even though my grandma gave Jerron a hard time on her dying bed I asked if I should consider him permanently and I received the nod of affirmation. He proposed and it was special to him and for me. Moving right along the youngest of the Duncan Clan graduated college! HBCU! Fit & Fierce! She makes me proud and I am always in tears wanting the very best for my baby.

The third quarter was spent planning the wedding of a century that was to happen in .5 seconds but we pulled it off and it was all I could of ever imagined. During this time I was hired part-time at Park University with Adjunct goals. Although I am a Social Worker by degree and trade I enjoy classroom instruction and am a teacher at heart. During this time I was also able to solidify myself as a leader at my day job with United Way and this was pivotal for what is to come.

The fourth quarter of the year I was a married woman and I became an AUNT to the most precious baby boy Caleel! My sister and best friend Ivory had the first child!!!!! He is something special :).


So 2017 We graciously welcome you to build on what has been and perfect those things that were neglected.

Facebook New Year Post:
 

Looking back over my life I sit here in amazement. Speechless. Tears of gratefulness. Just to then hear..."Its only the beginning". My God is faithful. I am a living witness that 'He will repay'. Maintain your faith and integrity and watch Him work on your behalf. You have truly grown when you don't take the actions of others personally as you realize its bigger than them. What God has for You...it is indeed for You. This is the year for your enemies to see every idle word spoken against you and every plot planted INTERCEPTED and manifested into a public display of glory, blessings, and miracles. The public humiliation you had to endure will be your thorn to keep you humble but it will not compare to the breaking news and headlines to
                                                                                    follow. Shine Bright with No Apologies!   
                                                                                    #EvenMe #2017