balls and barrettes

No, I didnt have her but I feel as if she is one of my own. I remember vaguely her as a new born baby but my memory returns of the thought of dirty diapers in which I changed as she looked up with those big beautiful eyes but not yet having a vocabulary to express what she may have been thinking. I wondered then what she was thinking and I still wonder that today. She grew right before my very eyes and I watched myself give her what I always wanted. What I enjoyed most was the ability to comb all that long pretty thick hair. Walking to JMart on Independence Ave just to pick out color coordinated balls and barrettes was a joy for me. From zig zag parts to cornrolled balls I was able to express my love with every part. She sure hated when I grabbed her face with my greasy hands as I gestured her to turn to the right to insure I got the rubber band on tight. Blue Magic glazed her scalp and I am sure that she was frying in the summer sun as she would run and play in her nicely picked out outfits twinned up with her brother and the best balls and barrettes money could buy. I remember the day she graduated from pre-school in her red cap and gown. The balls and barrettes didnt match the cap and gown but I am sure they matched the outfit underneath. With not much to look forward to living in the projects, a womans hair was definately her glory. From finger wavs, to wraps, to braids, to cornrolls, to shirly temple curls...your hair was your joy. I then fast forward to May 2011 as I watched her walk the stage of Park Hill High School in her red cap and gown; obviously, this one was much bigger in size. I did have the privilege of helping her put together what would go underneath but I was not able to give her balls and barrettes. Oh, how I wish I could give her balls and barretttes once more. I guess I just had to settle for clipping her ends before she molds the wrap in which she has so flawlessly worn in her teenage years. I remember asking myself as I had to guide her off to college was it a blessing or a curse that I had to play such a role in her life. Well... now I know...IT WAS A BLESSING! Was it easy, not at all...Was it worth it...absolutely! She is growing into a beautiful young woman and I am extremely proud of her. Do I agree with everything she does...nope. Would I rather she didnt post pics on facebook in a sports bra and bed shorts...yep. If I could I would drive to prairie view a&m and whoop her ass and make her do some pumps, but I cant.lol. So now, I just pray that just as me and Ivory found our way unharmed that the Lord would do the same for her. She is my Angel. She saved my life because through her I had purpose. I am glad that my life resulted in me having to stay home and do hair because my story could have been different. Because I had an Angel, I chose to make decisions that would bless her life. Was it fair....no, will it work for my ultimate good...yes! Now that she is 13 hours away my purpose is being redefined but my new revelation is that as I reared her I was just in a safe holding place and now I shall break free! My Angel, My Angel, My Angel----oh how I love thee!