You are not mama and daddy…this is not mothers day.

                                                Wednesdays Well

You are not mama and daddy…this is not mothers day.

In a world where roles have become obsolete to insure equality, we as a people are losing our need to position ourselves so that our families, communities, churches, country… prospers. The way we go about glorifying the many hats in which we wear causes us to move further and further away from a structure that was meant to bless us. 

As a single independent woman, I am all for uplifting women to do what is necessary when a man is not present BUT at the same time I don’t want to dismiss what a blessing it is to have a husband/father in the home. I understand that due to the society in which we live there are a lack of men prepared to be husbands and fathers and as a result many woman have had to step up to the plate and carry a load that was never meant for one person to carry but as your sister I must remind you that you are not mama and daddy…you are just a good mother.

We must begin to change our language and expectations if we plan to restore the family unit. As a fatherless child, I know all too well what it feels like to yearn, need, seek, male affirmation. I am not ashamed to say that I needed it and have had to overcome some unfortunate circumstances as a result of not having it. As I heal, I want to offer that same healing to others. We have had our time to be bitter, upset, mad, disgusted at the state of fatherhood and I believe that we need a shift in order to restore what has been lost.

Being a father is a blessing-it should be a seat of honor, reverence, and respect. Contrary to my experience, there are some great fathers out there holding it down and during this season WE must insure that they understand their worth. Although the reality may be that there are many fatherless homes, I want to see us move beyond glorifying that fact and move towards rebuilding, reclaiming, and restoring. I don’t have a quick fix answer but the first step is we MUST change our language…ladies you are not mama and daddy, you are just a magnificent mother.

During this season, single ladies I challenge you to identify a male figure that you have witnessed that exhibits a notable fatherly character. Give him a small token letting him know that because of people like him the structure of family is blessed. I then challenge you to reach out to a father that may be struggling, give him a small token and express your love for him and our need for him to be the best he can be so that together we can prosper.

Ladies, this is not your season to get gifts….it is not May! You are not mama and daddy….you are just an exceptional mother! A good, magnificent, exceptional mother humbles herself to recognize that we need good, magnificent, exceptional fathers. Lets let fathers day be a day of recognition, restoration, forgiveness, healing, and love. Our men do not need to be reminded that women can be men, lets let them know that we need them and their role is vital to the family unit.

Let the seeds of good deeds be sown, Let the healing begin, Let us prosper TOGETHER.

To my daddy:

You are the King that I never knew

Oh how strong, witty, creative, and loving you are

Oh what a smile you have that lights up a room, just like mine

Oh what hurt, pain, anguish you have experienced

Come, my king, take your rightful thrown

It was given to you by our Father and the seats vacancy cannot be occupied

My mama can not sit there and neither can I

How can I be my own father, when I am the twinkle in his eye

My mama is not my father, and neither am I

You are papa bear and you fit just right

Many male imposters have tried to mask themselves in your seat just to bring me pain

But I always knew you were the King I never knew, oh how I wish you would reign

You are he that sowed a seed of greatness; it is you-it is he that made Me

My King, your robe is ready and I take the honor of placing it on your shoulders

There are even slippers for you to rest those feet that have been many places but found no rest

Oh and the crown, filled with jewels and memories that I am eager to share with you.

Come out from hiding, there is a land flowing for you too

Don’t be afraid, I am not mad, angry, or bitter

I don’t blame you, curse you, or wish any ill

I want you to arise from your drunken sleep and know your worth

What royalty you are, while the devil deemed us cursed

Blacksheep-maybe, Homeless-maybe, Addicted-maybe, Lost-maybe

Oh, but that’s not what I see!

You are the King, I never knew

What treasures you behold, the dreams you bestowed, the prayers you rendered

My God told me that though you were absent from me, many blessings for me came from your lips

Just wanted to let you know He honored your request….for I am indeed blessed!

Arise My King, from your dark past of despair! Arise My King from regret, loneliness and shame.

Come forth, that the curse may be broken

No we cannot rewrite the past but we shall speak a different future

The King, I never knew shall have his daughters married off to men of God

They will raise Goldy children who will be good, magnificent, exceptional, mothers and fathers in their own right

We will tell stories of you the King, stories that you reigned supreme.

Arise My King Arise!