You are worth it

You are worth it

This morning on my way to work all I could hear was “You are worth it”.  You are worth whatever your wildest dream can conceive! You are worth a life filled with love, peace, joy, and health. You are worth relationships filled with respect, honor, and loyalty. You are worth a job that doesn’t require ‘work’ but a walk in true calling. Your worth spreads far beyond your past, your reputation, and your current circumstance. Your worth was birthed with you when you entered this world. It is not something that changes but it must be discovered and rediscovered again and again. Most of us are guilty of settling as we take on the opinions of others, make time our predictor, & follow stats/ trends. As you continue in this life there are moments when you feel something in your gut that screams “there is something better out here for me”, “I must go, I must move, I must explore”, “where I am now is not where I was called to be”….. as our worth nudges to be fed we smother her in fear of failing, being mocked, and causing our own heartbreak. Life can hurt you so that you feel an obligation to protect what you have left, but if I told you that there was more where that came from- would you believe me? Not only more but better!

 Lady worth is telling you that that person, thing, season that made you question your very existence is powerless and does not have the last say so! Sometimes those very things reveal what lady worth was trying to tell you all along: You are better, so much better! I encourage you to dream again, get lost in the fairytale pages of life again, let your imagination soar yet again. As you give yourself permission to believe yet again, my prayer is that a surge of courage will rise up and declare that because you are worth it you will no longer hold back but walk into every possibility knowing that you have the right to be there. There will be moments of uncertainty, rejections, and even nay sayers but when you have done all you can know that as you wear your worth cloak you will enter into a “right place, right time” location that will transform your life forever. Go with me sister, take my hand as I take yours because we will need each other to make a generation of women of worth. As we stand together, we are indeed a force to be reckoned with. Instead of allowing people, circumstances, and institutions to determine your worth, your worth alone will transform people, circumstances, and institutions alike.  I encourage you today to tell another sister: “You are worth it”-and watch her gleam (maybe even in confusement), as she will indeed know exactly what you are referring to and you will have no clue.lol

Until next time ladies,

Meet me here, draw from here, quench your soul thirst here at Wednesdays WELLness----Signed, Miss Ebony

Dig Deep and Discover

Wednesdays WELLness w/Guest Columnist Ebony

Dig Deep and Discover

From age 5 til about age 15 most of us have been bombarded with the question: what do you want to be when you grown up? The latter years of high school most of us have a pretty good idea of “what we want to be” or at least decide to attend college or enlist in the armed forces to give us more time to figure things out. The pressure of figuring out what you want to be when you grow up consumes the minds and thoughts of people all around the world as their worth and ability to do well is wrapped up in what it is that they decide to do.  As life happens some of us forfeit ‘what we want to be’ for ‘what we have to be’ but the value placed on this decision can still become cumbersome.

Early on we place so much value on what a person does that as we grow into these roles it’s how we define ourselves; we so easily become what we do. While watching Oprah a questioned is posed: Who are you? This question is posed to a highly successful adult who in turn is unable to give an answer. When most people are asked ‘who they are’ they respond: I am a mother, a daughter, a teacher, a friend, a wife….. So then my question becomes: If your children die then who are you? If you lose your job then who are? How wonderful it is to carry such roles in this life but it is not in essence ‘who you are’.  Now, the good news is the roles that you have (if you are pleased with and function naturally in) can be a good indicator of who you are. Most of our roles reveal an inner characteristic about us anyway and we use those roles to drive home who we were meant to be all along.  So it is then safe to say that if our roles are removed then the person we are would remain and before we know it we will create another role in which we can function and release the inner enzymes of who we are. Moral: I do what I do because I am who I am. So then, who are you?

We wont argue whether ‘who you are’ is a nature vs. nurture concept but I believe we can all agree that it is a combination of both. With that said, ‘who you are’ can be different than ‘who you were’ or ‘who you will be’. What I want to encourage people to do is dig a little deeper and have the ability to describe who you are. As we make these declarations or dispel some of the not so good stuff, we can walk in a truth that will indeed set us free. As you experience freedom, you will then in turn have the ability to identify when ‘you’ are not ‘you’ and be able to get back on track. This is in fact a journey of personal discovery and no one can answer this question for you. When you determine ‘who you are’, you can then make decisions on what you will/wont do, where you will and wont go, who you will and who you wont. Some of us get lucky and what we do is a true reflection of who we are while some of us are just plain confused which causes unnecessary conflict in our lives.  Hint: who you are is not something that can be turned on and off but rather something that no matter what will peak its head up while screaming: LET ME OUT! For some of us pieces of who we are have been with us since before we can actually remember. It is the blanket that you have coddled and it is very evident as if attached to you like a limb. When trying to figure out ‘who you are’ I want you to start thinking about it as an adjective.

I will share examples of my own journey with you and hopefully this will help you as you discover self:

1.I am resilient….no matter what my circumstance or role is my resilience is evident. My ability to be resilient makes me a good social worker but I must remind myself that a social worker is not who I am rather  it is what I do. Who I am is resilient.

2. I am faithful…this about me reeks through my pores. Me being Ms. Faithful makes me a good friend and believer but those two are not who I am…..what I am is faithful.

3.I am old-fashioned/semi- conservative…I am made fun of all the time for being well beyond my years and for some of my quirky values but hey what can I say, its who I am.lol.

Dig deep and discover! I don’t care if you are fierce, fat, and funny or  grumpy, clumsy, and noisy or even jealous, jazzy, and just. Dig Deep and Discover!

Until next time ladies,

Meet me here, draw from here, quench your soul thirst here at Wednesdays WELLness----Signed, Miss Ebony

If I only had one wish...

Wednesdays WELLness w/Guest Columnist Ebony

If I only had one wish…

Twinkle, twinkle, little star, How I wonder what you are. If I had one wish I would wish for the will to wish. I would wish for the innocence of a child that sits on her knees at night with folded fist praying & wishing. She squeezes her eyes tightly pleading for her desire to come to pass as her dad stands near the door spying upon her request eager to make her wish come true. I want to wish with confidence and expectation, with intention and preparation, with assuredness that my father is standing at my bedroom door waiting eagerly to make my wish come true. Ridding myself of all doubt and debate as I wish like Ive never had a promise broken. Each wish would be like the first with much passion and zeal believing that my wishing alone made me worthy of seeing it come to pass.

Up above the world so high, Like a diamond in the sky. If I only had one wish I would wish for the will to wish. I would wish that I would be like a child watching a fairytale excited and thrilled with no knowledge that what she is watching may not be real. An unadulterated heart believing all things are possible to him that believe. I wanna wish, wish, & wish with an open heart and mind ready to receive that which I asked. I wanna wish, wish, & wish with a hope and a dream of someone with no limits/no boundaries. I want a soaring imagination that would allow me to wish for my hearts desire with specifics trimmed in gold.

Twinkle, twinkle, little star, How I wonder what you are! If I only had one wish I would wish for the will to wish. I would wish for the ability to wish blindly with no facts or data just a wonder, leaving me wanting to explore every possibility imaginable. My only wish today is the ability to wish. So you ask me if I only had one wish I would wish for many wishes. As I boldly kneel down at my bedside knowing I have the right to be there I would wish that my wishing heart be returned to me. I am squeezing my eyes tightly now imagining myself wishing, praying, and hoping for my one wish….my wish for the will to wish. I know that if I am given this one wish I will dream dreams, see visions, make plans, and accomplish more than even my wildest wish could conjure. Yeah...my one and only wish would be for the will to wish. I want to believe again, I want to love limitlessly again, I want to wish upon a star yet again. I want to tell the little girl standing in the screen with her jumpsuit, clear jellies, and fresh beeded hair that your daddy is coming, HE is coming, HE has to come because he has your one wish….your wish for the will to wish. “Wish on daughter, Wish on”.

Until next time ladies,

Meet me here, draw from here, quench your soul thirst here at Wednesdays WELLness----Signed, Miss Ebony

Potential

Wednesdays WELLness 

w/Guest Columnist Ebony

Possibly I am capable of becoming all that I can be so I remain camouflaged so that you can invest in me. Be careful cause with your caring heart you might not see that I am a mere possibility. I know you are a woman and you can see right through anything but I am begging you not to look too deep into me cause my surface is so very clear. I stand before you just as I am, please define me where I land and not where you hoped I’d be. Don’t be guilty of visualizing something in me that I myself never intend to see. Find balance in your spirituality as you glide on a wing and prayer; know that common sense will not fail you here.  I don’t mean to bust your bubble but I am not tangible, factual or actual; I can be likely, feasible, probable and maybe even promising. Look at my track record and don’t ignore my past results for what you see is what you get and what I’ve done is what I beget.  Ask yourself what have I produced, what have I made happen and ultimately what are my results. I know (and you know) that I have given you a 2 on a scale of 10 but because you have on permanent contact lenses that only allow you to see double digits you are deceived. I am not who you say I am, I am exactly who I have shown you I am. I am not proof in the pudding, I am not soaring above the clouds, I am not beating the bushes, I am not declaring my vision aloud.

Who am I you ask? I could be considered a dream deferred-a dream (a goal) never manifested, maybe, hmmm----I guess? Although the honorary Langston Hughes never answered the question as to what happens to a dream deferred as an honorary myself  *chuckle, chuckle*,  I could assume by the intensity and under sizing of the poem that the deferring process symbolizes an unclear postponing, perhaps a suspension of some sort or even something indefinite . So…”Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun”?--a raisin is already dry, and as a raisin, it is a good thing, useful and nutritious, but if a raisin is left in the sun to dry up, it becomes hard and impossible to eat; its value sucked out, it no longer serves its useful, nutritional purpose. Whatever the reason I am not able to produce can be argued from many angles but the fact that I am not producing is very evident. Do not try to make me something I am not, Do not write a script for me that I cannot perform, Do not put me in a race I never intend to win. So are you still wondering who I am….well I am so glad you asked for I am the infamous: POTENTIAL. The only thing that can move me from POTENTAL (a buried excellence or ability that may or may not be developed) is Me….<coupled with my ability/willingness to tap into a higher source> but the point is its not You. When I show you who I am please believe me.

Until next time ladies,

Meet me here, draw from here, quench your soul thirst here at Wednesdays WELLness----Signed, Miss Ebony

Fighting for the Gold

Wednesdays WELLness

Fighting for the Gold

Ever felt like your ability to overcome is more than about your personal victory? As I sit and watch the Olympics I cant help but to sit in amazement as the performers are fighting for the Gold that will allow themselves, their families, their fans, their loved ones, and their country to celebrate. Their personal victory becomes a universal win! Now, of course most of us may never experience the opportunity to represent our country but if we sit back and observe our own journeys we do represent something greater than ourselves. As we fight the good fight we may notice an increase in pain, distress, heartache and trouble but I must remind us that this is strengthening us so that we may win the Gold! I know we hear the clichés that trials comes to make us strong and we grit in resentment at having to be pushed to our limit as if we haven’t proven the toughness of our skin already but I must remind us the greater the call the greater the fight. Most of us are in basic training for the ultimate battle that must be won. This battle will change the course of your family, your community, your church, your job, your nation, or even just the little girl watching you wanting to know if freedom is yet still available.

I was joking with my Monday night bible study class about my patient wait for my “Barack”.  Shortly after I was reminded by the spirit that Michelle did not meet “Barack” but due to the fruits of her labor she can now enjoy the “Barack” some us have grown to adore and love.  Moral: if we stay in the fight, the thing that looked shabby and bleak before will mold into the greatest blessing we have ever received. We must learn not to despise humble beginnings but embrace them with love and walk in them with integrity. 

Is it easy? No. Can we do it? Yes we can. Don’t be surprised when you experience enemies of all kinds. What victory do you know has been won without the interference of an adversary?! Spend much time in prayer and meditation so that you are aware when the adversary is present and you can receive your personalized divinely given way to respond. Do not take it personal…you are just a target as a result of the victory that lies within. Count it an honor as you hold the secret that will break many free as you learn to free yourself. Be patient with yourself…this is a journey, do not despise the process as it is all a part of your story. We have read many stories of women in personal battles and their journeys to triumph and one day someone will ready yours. For most of us its just the beginning, your story is still writing itself and as it blesses you with each page you turn know that one day your fight for the Gold will allow some other little girl to hold your medal high and say “We did it”!

I am fighting for my life as I rummage through my past, tip toe in my present, and run from my future. I shall fight without fear knowing I am justified and  qualified to be here, to stand here, to live here, to love here, to win right here where I stand! My enemy does not stand a chance! I am going for the Gold!

Until next time ladies,

Meet me here, draw from here, quench your soul thirst here at Wednesdays WELLness----Signed, Miss Ebony