Dig Deep and Discover

Wednesdays WELLness w/Guest Columnist Ebony

Dig Deep and Discover

From age 5 til about age 15 most of us have been bombarded with the question: what do you want to be when you grown up? The latter years of high school most of us have a pretty good idea of “what we want to be” or at least decide to attend college or enlist in the armed forces to give us more time to figure things out. The pressure of figuring out what you want to be when you grow up consumes the minds and thoughts of people all around the world as their worth and ability to do well is wrapped up in what it is that they decide to do.  As life happens some of us forfeit ‘what we want to be’ for ‘what we have to be’ but the value placed on this decision can still become cumbersome.

Early on we place so much value on what a person does that as we grow into these roles it’s how we define ourselves; we so easily become what we do. While watching Oprah a questioned is posed: Who are you? This question is posed to a highly successful adult who in turn is unable to give an answer. When most people are asked ‘who they are’ they respond: I am a mother, a daughter, a teacher, a friend, a wife….. So then my question becomes: If your children die then who are you? If you lose your job then who are? How wonderful it is to carry such roles in this life but it is not in essence ‘who you are’.  Now, the good news is the roles that you have (if you are pleased with and function naturally in) can be a good indicator of who you are. Most of our roles reveal an inner characteristic about us anyway and we use those roles to drive home who we were meant to be all along.  So it is then safe to say that if our roles are removed then the person we are would remain and before we know it we will create another role in which we can function and release the inner enzymes of who we are. Moral: I do what I do because I am who I am. So then, who are you?

We wont argue whether ‘who you are’ is a nature vs. nurture concept but I believe we can all agree that it is a combination of both. With that said, ‘who you are’ can be different than ‘who you were’ or ‘who you will be’. What I want to encourage people to do is dig a little deeper and have the ability to describe who you are. As we make these declarations or dispel some of the not so good stuff, we can walk in a truth that will indeed set us free. As you experience freedom, you will then in turn have the ability to identify when ‘you’ are not ‘you’ and be able to get back on track. This is in fact a journey of personal discovery and no one can answer this question for you. When you determine ‘who you are’, you can then make decisions on what you will/wont do, where you will and wont go, who you will and who you wont. Some of us get lucky and what we do is a true reflection of who we are while some of us are just plain confused which causes unnecessary conflict in our lives.  Hint: who you are is not something that can be turned on and off but rather something that no matter what will peak its head up while screaming: LET ME OUT! For some of us pieces of who we are have been with us since before we can actually remember. It is the blanket that you have coddled and it is very evident as if attached to you like a limb. When trying to figure out ‘who you are’ I want you to start thinking about it as an adjective.

I will share examples of my own journey with you and hopefully this will help you as you discover self:

1.I am resilient….no matter what my circumstance or role is my resilience is evident. My ability to be resilient makes me a good social worker but I must remind myself that a social worker is not who I am rather  it is what I do. Who I am is resilient.

2. I am faithful…this about me reeks through my pores. Me being Ms. Faithful makes me a good friend and believer but those two are not who I am…..what I am is faithful.

3.I am old-fashioned/semi- conservative…I am made fun of all the time for being well beyond my years and for some of my quirky values but hey what can I say, its who I am.lol.

Dig deep and discover! I don’t care if you are fierce, fat, and funny or  grumpy, clumsy, and noisy or even jealous, jazzy, and just. Dig Deep and Discover!

Until next time ladies,

Meet me here, draw from here, quench your soul thirst here at Wednesdays WELLness----Signed, Miss Ebony