Interview

Guest Blogger: Ebony Duncan Wednesday WELLness

Wednesdays WELL

I am absolutely feeling myself this morning as I rock my nylon dark purple shirt with a nice elegant 80s style bow tied at the neck drooping over the light purple button down sweater I have used for extra layering, formal appeal, and color contrast. Moving further down I have on a black pencil skirt, beige pep toe shoes, oversized pearl earrings and a pearl bracelet. As I sit at my desk at work patiently waiting to enter into a room of my colleagues with the intent of demonstrating my potential to become the next Director of Case Management, I cant help but look in the mirror and say “Look at God”! Although I would be misleading not to admit there is a level of anxiousness that comes along with this process there is a greater level of peace that surrounds me knowing that what is for me is absolutely for me. I am humbled to be given the opportunity to interview as a second round contender for such a position while smiling realizing I have earned the right to be here. I am feeling blessed just to be a part of the process as I know the best is yet to come for me. Whether this is the position for me or another door will swing open I know that the process alone has sparked a fire that no man can put out. The fact that I am taking such a risk with integrity and confidence allows me to step in front of myself and bow as I have come such a mighty long way. From a humble beginning, filled with internal uncertainty I am in awe at the young woman that stands before you today. She has came through many weathered seasons of tears, pain, confusion and anguish but….Look at God! My head is held a little higher, My back is a little straighter, presence is commanded by my stride, while my smile can warm the most hardest heart. This process of proving myself has allowed the people I love to remind me of the greatness that lies within. Oh what a team of warriors that I have on my side. God, I thank you for them! From prayers, to words of adoration, and gestures that have truly warmed my heart. I am a woman phenomenally, phenomenal woman, that’s me!  

Until next time ladies,

Meet me here, draw from here, quench your soul thirst here at Wednesdays WELLness----Signed, Miss Ebony

When a womans fed up...

Guest blogger: Ebony Duncan; Wednesday WELLness

When a womans fed up…

I am compelled to ponder on the strength of a woman this morning. The strength that flows from her shoulders and back, the love that flows from her lips and hands as she gives you the best part of her. Her loyalty and commitment is incomparable as she loses herself in your dreams, aspirations, wants, and needs. She is indeed the giver of life, the restorer of what has been destroyed, and the fixer of the broken, the addition to all that may have been lost. As I ponder on her strength this morning she reminds me of something like supernatural, extraordinary, yet simplicit and misunderstood. I am then forced to acknowledge that this very same woman is among the most broken, lost & stricken. How could this be you ask: she has lived vicariously through people and things and never learned to live through herself and her creator. You hear her say all the time: I am tired, when is my time, why do I feel used, who am I, why don’t they give me just a portion of what I have given, where has the time gone….

I among so many of my sisters am, have been, or will become this woman. I decree today that we embrace this ‘strength’ while learning how to operate this tool before we use it or give it away. We love naturally just as we walk naturally but you don’t see a toddler who is learning to walk successfully carrying another toddler, or theyd both fall. Point being, we must learn.  How do you learn? Im glad you asked! The best way to practice, become better, and eventually an expert is to use yourself. The same way you yearn to love others, love yourself. Tell yourself how wonderful you are, buy yourself nice things, take yourself out on dates, spend time with yourself, support your own dreams… Now as this revelation rolls on to paper know that I am learning to make this a reality. With that said, I acknowledge this is not an easy task. Some seasons of it will be grueling as you will learn things about yourself that you never knew. This will be an intentional time of healing, revelation, and restoration. There will be moments of loneliness as you will crave, desire, yearn for others like a drug. During this season you will have to depend on a greater power to get you through. Don’t hesitate to establish a task force of friends or other believers to help you when you get weak in the knees. We deserve to be the best us we can be!

To the fatherless, abused, and misused I am here with you as we try to figure out how to utilize this tarnished heart while trying to love through it. I am with you as we try to pull a wagon load with a strength that has been broken. How grateful I am that we all get to a point when we feel that there is more that life can offer. When everyone is gone and the silence haunts us there is a still small voice that reminds us that we are a jewel to behold and we shall come forth. As we play with this idea of loving self while surrendering what has been, what is convenient, what we know, what we have been offered in this fall cuddle season, I demand that you be patient with yourself. Even as you read this, a deposit is being made. Every time you say…no more, im done, ive had enough---just to go back, know that deposits are being made. Giving much of yourself is an addiction and must be treated as such. Drug addicts give what they don’t have just to get something that never fully satisfies them! Sound familiar? If you acknowledge that something is off and something has to give, I salute you today! I applaud you as you begin to walk in a different direction even if you don’t feel like you are moving. Know that, a great virtue of love is patience, begin with yourself today. As you find your way, in your own way I pray that Gods grace be with you. I encourage you to create a safety plan. When I use to work with victims of domestic violence safety plans were created in the event that she chose to ‘really do it this time’. Those safety plans served as deposits as well J. Create a self love plan, so that when it’s your time you will be loaded with your ‘what to do now’. As you draft this, imagine yourself at that place of loving, living, and settling no more!

Until next time ladies,

Meet me here, draw from here, quench your soul thirst here at Wednesdays WELLness----Signed, Miss Ebony

Oh what a great change in me…

Guest Blogger: Ebony Duncan Wednesday WELLness

Oh what a great change in me…

Today I sit in amazement of what a miraculous transformation has taken place over my life just within the past year. I am no longer the same, I have changed. Sunday at church they conducted altar call for those needing a specific provision in which I did not all need but I went anyway. I gestured one of the younger prayer warriors to pray for me and as she asked what I needed I tried to make up something that went along with the message that was just rendered by Bishop and we both laughed. I then confessed that I didn’t really need anything I just didn’t want to pass up an opportunity to be prayed for. She proceeded to pray and the prayer was just confirmation that a great change had taken place and I was no longer needing a prayer to get me through but rather an opportunity to hear the admirations of the Lord and that made my heart glad. At that moment it had become apparent to me that this was indeed a new season and the season I had experienced before was no more and shall never be again! Why? Because a great change has taken place in me!

I cut my hair into a fade in the middle of winter Dec. 2011 each stage of hair growth reminds me of my declaration for new. As I embrace this kinky curly glory I embrace other aspects of my life. I am learning more about me in this season then I have in all the seasons of my life. Instead of crying at my mistakes, I laugh at the opportunity to make them. Instead of taking what I am given, I demand what I want. Instead of blaming, I own. Instead of wearing the cloak of shame/disappointment, I walk in pride and honor. My smile is no longer displayed out of habit, but there is a story behind each gappy space that I wear so proudly. I am learning each day to love me with an everlasting love. I will embrace this season as I know that there is a special grace over me as my flesh is in overdrive. I feel like a child that had been diagnosed with cancer and is now going through chemotherapy. Because of the diagnosis and the healing aftermath the parent showers the child with all the love and adoration as they let them get away with things that they normally would not but of course there will come a time when the child is healed and discipline will resume. With that said, thank you God the Father for my season of chemo!lol.

Each day brings a new experience, A new revelation, &  a new found love of self. Ive never had a love like this before and I am really all googly, moogly inside. With this new found love my nurturer instincts are really kicking in as I want to naturally give what I have: love. But I am demanding Mrs. June Cleaver to remain hidden for a little while longer as I continue to ride this ride of self discovery and love J.

Until next time ladies,

Meet me here, draw from here, quench your soul thirst here at Wednesdays WELLness----Signed, Miss Ebony