When a womans fed up...

Guest blogger: Ebony Duncan; Wednesday WELLness

When a womans fed up…

I am compelled to ponder on the strength of a woman this morning. The strength that flows from her shoulders and back, the love that flows from her lips and hands as she gives you the best part of her. Her loyalty and commitment is incomparable as she loses herself in your dreams, aspirations, wants, and needs. She is indeed the giver of life, the restorer of what has been destroyed, and the fixer of the broken, the addition to all that may have been lost. As I ponder on her strength this morning she reminds me of something like supernatural, extraordinary, yet simplicit and misunderstood. I am then forced to acknowledge that this very same woman is among the most broken, lost & stricken. How could this be you ask: she has lived vicariously through people and things and never learned to live through herself and her creator. You hear her say all the time: I am tired, when is my time, why do I feel used, who am I, why don’t they give me just a portion of what I have given, where has the time gone….

I among so many of my sisters am, have been, or will become this woman. I decree today that we embrace this ‘strength’ while learning how to operate this tool before we use it or give it away. We love naturally just as we walk naturally but you don’t see a toddler who is learning to walk successfully carrying another toddler, or theyd both fall. Point being, we must learn.  How do you learn? Im glad you asked! The best way to practice, become better, and eventually an expert is to use yourself. The same way you yearn to love others, love yourself. Tell yourself how wonderful you are, buy yourself nice things, take yourself out on dates, spend time with yourself, support your own dreams… Now as this revelation rolls on to paper know that I am learning to make this a reality. With that said, I acknowledge this is not an easy task. Some seasons of it will be grueling as you will learn things about yourself that you never knew. This will be an intentional time of healing, revelation, and restoration. There will be moments of loneliness as you will crave, desire, yearn for others like a drug. During this season you will have to depend on a greater power to get you through. Don’t hesitate to establish a task force of friends or other believers to help you when you get weak in the knees. We deserve to be the best us we can be!

To the fatherless, abused, and misused I am here with you as we try to figure out how to utilize this tarnished heart while trying to love through it. I am with you as we try to pull a wagon load with a strength that has been broken. How grateful I am that we all get to a point when we feel that there is more that life can offer. When everyone is gone and the silence haunts us there is a still small voice that reminds us that we are a jewel to behold and we shall come forth. As we play with this idea of loving self while surrendering what has been, what is convenient, what we know, what we have been offered in this fall cuddle season, I demand that you be patient with yourself. Even as you read this, a deposit is being made. Every time you say…no more, im done, ive had enough---just to go back, know that deposits are being made. Giving much of yourself is an addiction and must be treated as such. Drug addicts give what they don’t have just to get something that never fully satisfies them! Sound familiar? If you acknowledge that something is off and something has to give, I salute you today! I applaud you as you begin to walk in a different direction even if you don’t feel like you are moving. Know that, a great virtue of love is patience, begin with yourself today. As you find your way, in your own way I pray that Gods grace be with you. I encourage you to create a safety plan. When I use to work with victims of domestic violence safety plans were created in the event that she chose to ‘really do it this time’. Those safety plans served as deposits as well J. Create a self love plan, so that when it’s your time you will be loaded with your ‘what to do now’. As you draft this, imagine yourself at that place of loving, living, and settling no more!

Until next time ladies,

Meet me here, draw from here, quench your soul thirst here at Wednesdays WELLness----Signed, Miss Ebony