Missing Milk Carton

Sound the Alarm!

Who is Amber Anyway?!

I am missing but my face is not on the milk carton.

All missing girls make the news, a carton, or the poster in Walmart, right?

I think Ive figured it out….The milk carton that my face is displayed on is missing.

Will you help me find the milk carton?

 

I am working here because I got word that my milk carton was here.

I am lost and I just knew that this job will help me find me.

I searched high and low but found nothing.

 

You make me feel so good, actually better than Ive ever felt.

I now have hope that something that feels so good has to hold the treasure I have been seeking: Me.

I gave you the best part of me, the part that I actually had.

You knew you didn’t have the missing piece to my puzzle but you continued to take me apart never putting me back together again.

Now I spend days, months, years, trying to wash the stint of you off my skin.

 

Ah Ha! Look what I discovered-Me with child.

She looks just like me, she looks just like the picture on my milk carton that is missing.

Oh how she loves me, consoles me, unconditionally loves me.

You are not like the others, I find purpose and passion through you.

Through you I forgot I was a missing child.

I protect you, shield you, defend you, guard you.

I, a missing child rearing a child through my very own absence.

 

Sound the Alarm!

Who is Amber Anyway?!

I am missing but my face is not on the milk carton.

All missing girls make the news, a carton, or the poster in Walmart, right?

I think Ive figured it out….The milk carton that my face is displayed on is missing.

Will you help me find the milk carton?

 

So much time has passed, I need an age progression picture.

I am an adult, but I am a missing child.

Where is the milk carton with my face!

Where is the milk carton with my face!

Where is the milk carton with my face!

 

Sound the Alarm!

Who is Amber Anyway?

Surely someone is looking for me, someone has got to know that I am missing

I remember like it was yesterday, when I strayed away

When my hopes and dreams where stolen

When I was robbed of my innocence

When I rode away never to return.

Anna Mae Bullock is missing but Tina Turner is here.

 

 

Sound the Alarm!

Who is Amber Anyway?!

I am missing but my face is not on the milk carton.

All missing girls make the news, a carton, or the poster in Walmart, right?

I think Ive figured it out….I am the carton.

And I have the reward money.

 

Until next time ladies,

Meet me here, draw from here, quench your souls thirst here at Wednesdays WELLness

Signed, Miss Ebony

Next week we will pick up the pace and talk fashion!

 

 

Heavean Lasts Always

 

 

 

This Life’ll soon be over. Heaven Lasts Always.

 

So many times we suffer for the sake of Heaven being our home.

We settle. We compromise. We allow.

We don’t fight. We don’t challenge. We don’t question.

We tell ourselves that Heaven is our reward.

We bank on heaven being our escape.

What if I told you that heaven is your home, and earth was your vacation?

 

Enjoy this side of heaven for there are great rewards for you here!

Yes, earth has its share of hurts, pains, and disappointments but today I declare your serenity as those things that are within your power to change, that you do so.

 

Dream Big, Love Hard, Laugh Much!

 

Celie:
Sometimes my husband get on me so hard, he hurt me all over. 
But he my husband. So I jus' talk to my ol' maker. 
This life'll soon be over. Heaven last always!

Sofia:
What you oughta do is bash Mister's head open and thank ol' Heaven later. 
You cant stay here, girl! Sisters!

 

Dream Big, Love Hard, Laugh Much!

 

Oh Celie, only if you saw the beauty in your eyes, the strength in your hands, the love in your heart.

Celie, my Celie, what a wonder you are. Gifted beyond your wildest dreams. A promise to behold.

Now you didn’t bash Mister’s head but that knife to the throat sho did the trick.

Yes! Take back what was stolen and walk in a freedom only you can discover.

Sophia, laugh on baby laugh on cause you are home NOW!

Squeak, I gladly call you Mary Agnes

Shug Avery, may the peace of the Father surpass every raw experience

Nettie, thank you for breaking the generational curse

Olivia, you are living the prayers sent up before you

 

Celie, Nettie, and Olivia Dreamed Big

Shug Avery and Mary Agnes Loved Hard

&

Sophia Laughed much

May we as women today learn from their triumphs and plan our own escapes to freedom.

 

This Life’ll soon be over. Heaven Lasts Always.

Indeed.

 

 

 

Disclaimer...

Disclaimer

I am a Christian and I am an Artist but I am not a Christian Artist.

I go to church screaming “amen” to the preacher man as my spirit cries out hallelujah.

I go to the blue room in the jazz district screaming “say that” as my soul gives the same joy and praise.

I am a Christian and I am an Artist but I am not a Christian Artist.

At church they say love one and hate the other to avoid hells wrath, for this is the truth and spoken word of God.

When I proclaim my belief this is my truth and when I proclaim my experience this is my truth as well.

 I have two truths and at any moment I can feel hot or cold but don’t you dare call me luke warm.

When the two truths meet I shall walk in my eternal glory.

When what is meets what shall be is the true definition of victory.

I am a Christian and I am an Artist but I am not a Christian Artist.

Life is a journey of natural and supernatural things colliding, exchanging, and sharing experiences.

My God gives me hope and promise, My artistry gives me hope and promise

My God heals and consoles, My artistry heals and consoles.

My God defines, describes and delimits me, My artistry defines, describes, and delimits me

My God is all knowing and supernatural, My artistry is limited and present.

My God created me, My God created my artistry, and I practice both with no apology.

When I write or speak I do so with no disclaimer for this is the truth as I know it.

When I declare the works of the Lord I do so with no disclaimer, for this is the truth as I believe it.

If I deny either, then I renounce its claims and both claims have already been accepted and processed.

The explicitly of my truth can sometimes be a hard pill to swallow as I swear, expose, and verbally demolish the thing that once bound me.

My artistry is not politically or spiritually correct, but it is correct none the less.

Don’t hate my words, don’t hate my sharing, don’t hate my artistry…hate the sin and the world that perpetuates it.

I am a Christian and I am an Artist but I am not a Christian Artist.

I declare my ability to write, speak, and create art without having my Christian card snatched from the radical believer.

As a social worker there is a thin line between a radical believer and those labeled mentally ill…both need to find balance. Where is your love balance minister sin slayer?!

I wear many hats and I don’t use my Christianity to infiltrate the effectiveness of what I do. I can be a loving mother, friend, sister, professional, volunteer….and never mention Jesus, but you  know he lives inside of me as I flow in love, acceptance, and accountability.

Don’t call me out for my public confession and I will be sure not to judge you for your secret ones.

My truth is my testimony. I share it in the roughness there of realizing today its my story and tomorrow it will be someone elses. As they connect with my truth, I share my belief with them as well.

Dammit, I love Jesus!

I struggle as a Christian, I struggle as an artist……but in both I am liberated. I find my way. I receive forgiveness and I walk in the truest essence of who I am: Me

That’s My Truth…..Ruth!

I am a Christian and I am an Artist but I am not a Christian Artist.

Signed, Miss Ebony

How much is my Tab?

How much is my tab?

You have set at this table long enough, you have accepted this long enough, you have been indebted to this long enough, cash out and retrieve your tab. If you don’t have it at your current disposal to give, then don’t purchase it. So many times we enter relationships, make business decisions, commit to financial obligations without the necessary tools to make it successful while moving forward anyway banking on a future potential that we are hoping will arrive in enough time for us to enjoy this premature decision. 

I met him during a time that I didn’t even know me. I knew that my soul was not prepared to share in this encounter but my flesh convinced me I deserved it and that this opportunity may never come again. I psyched myself to believe that each moment was innocent and that I had full control of the outcome but little did I know when he was gone I would be left emotionally bankrupt. How can I give something that I did not myself have: Love. Well, I was hoping that Love would find me on this path and all that was well would end well. Unfortunately I and love were going in two different directions. You have set at this table long enough, you have accepted this long enough, you have been indebted to this long enough, cash out and retrieve your tab. Sir, how much is my tab?

The proposition was made and it seemed too good to be true and I believed you and signed my name on the dotted line. Who would pass up a position like this?! I didn’t even finish high school and I have the opportunity to make six figures! Shoot , sign a sistah up! Yeah, you signed me up for a debt that I would be paying for, for the rest of my life. How was I supposed to know this was an illegal sting? I wanted to believe that miracles happen to ordinary people. I wanted to believe that fine print did not exist. What I believed was that I could get something for nothing and what a fool I was! All I wanted was to give my children the life that I was never afforded, so when the door opened I walked right through it. Now that the hard part is over, I still find myself playing this decision over and over in my head. To my conscious I say…. You have set at this table long enough, you have accepted this long enough, you have been indebted to this long enough, cash out and retrieve your tab! Ma’am (self) how much is my tab so that I can pay you and move on?

I want it, I want it, I want it so bad! I know I don’t have the money now, but there are so many people who owe me money by the time I am compensated I can just pay it off.  This balance is now due! Where are all those people who borrowed from me when I need them.  All that I do for people and you mean to tell me I cant even satisfy this simple debt. I know I didn’t have the money when I purchased it but I just knew that my being a good person would generate some funds to pay the balance. You have set at this table long enough, you have accepted this long enough, you have been indebted to this long enough, cash out and retrieve your tab. If you don’t have it at you current disposal to give, then don’t purchase it. Excuse me 'Company', you can gone and  pick this up cause I cant afford that tab.

I remember when I was a child my mother had a ‘tab’ at the local corner store. She would send us to the store with a note filled with items that she wanted but with no money. I would hand over the note and inform them to put it on her tab. I never complained as there were always some hot chips, a pickle, and some green and yellow laffy taffys on the list for me.  When we would walk with her to the store she would turn us loose to get whatever we wanted just to put it on her tab. When we got older, my sister and I would make speculations as to how in the world did she pay the tab on a fixed income. Im just gone leave that alone but its funny how what begins as a financial debt turned into a soul debt. Oh the price she had to pay for beer, cigarettes, and hot chips! I would give any amount of money today to give her back all that was lost in her world of opening up tabs in economics and relationships.  She-‘We’ didn’t have it to give but we convince ourselves we needed it so we opened up a tab. I scream from the mountaintop that we need discipline and patience. In this life if we learn to tell ourselves “no” and “wait” hindsight would be no more. When we are in such a rush to get what we want and what we think we deserve while telling ourselves the lies that ‘this time will never come again’ and that ‘we only live once’, we die to our tabs.

A tab? A tool that is open, boundless, giving you permission to give and take at your will with the intent of you paying for every transaction(sometimes with interest). If you cannot pay in the original agreed upon tender, you will begin to search for other ways to compensate for your debt as you rob peter to pay paul. You continue to take, take, take hoping that you would eventually reach an even balance, but you never do. You end up on the shorter end leaving you tied to the tab and its owner indefinitely. While you have the chance… cash out and retrieve your tab! Make it up in your mind, that you will not go around this mountain again. To cash out means to vow to never sow a seed in that place again and when you have the means pay the tab and move on.

You have set at this table long enough, you have accepted this long enough, you have been indebted to this long enough, cash out and retrieve your tab. If you don’t have it at you current disposal to give, then don’t purchase it. So many times we enter relationships, make business decisions, commit to financial obligations without the necessary tools to make it successful while moving forward anyway banking on a future potential that we are hoping will arrive in enough time for us to enjoy this premature decision. 

Until next time ladies,

Meet me here, draw from here, quench your soul thirst here at Wednesdays WELLness

----Signed, Miss Ebony