Your
Authentic Self
Have you ever been surrounded by
blessings, good fortune, good health, good people, good devotion….yet you are
not satisfied? There is yet a longing for more when measurably what you have is
probably enough or at least all you can currently handle. There is a longing
for something more accurate, more genuine, more fitting, more….. YOU! Ah
Ha….the link in the chain that is missing is “you”. As a child it is designed for you to begin to
cultivate what we know as our authentic self….the person you are when no one
else is looking or the person you are when you lay your head on your pillow at
night wigless. The person you would be if there was no standard as to how you
should be. The person who could make the biggest mistake known to man or have a
major embarrassing moment and bounce back with no regrets/no worries, for
subconsciously they become their only critic.
The irony of this all is that so many
of us never cultivate that ability so we become what I like to call our “safe
self”. This self is fostered through experiences of fear, anxiety, worry,
abuse, role reversals, disappointments, inconsistencies and the like. This you
is not necessarily a bad you but it is a safe you and eventually the authentic
you is inside screaming wanting to be released but out of fear of rejection you
muzzle her. The safe you is the one who you created to withstand the toughest
of times. This you has been loyal and faithful. This you has perfected
perfection because it has always had to be on guard so your rehearsals become
your plays and your plays become your life.
What you present to the world is your safe you: The person who is well
groomed inside and out. The person who continually lives in victory and life
leaves no sweat off the brow. The person who laughs much but cries little but
finds life more hurtful than funny. The
person who understands their role when the cameras are rolling but has created
a world where the rolling never ceases so she is now sleeping in her wig. The
person whos biggest fear is being her authentic self as she has never met that
woman before.
Oh how your authentic self would be
so much more relaxed, so much more flowing, so much more like….YOU. Your
authentic self looks life in the face and says: here I am world! Your authentic
self laughs at life and its circumstances while permissioning itself to cry
when it hurts. I want to speak to the person who is living but not quite alive.
The person who knows their role but doesn’t quite like the show. The person who
is good but would be better if they were only authentic. I am speaking to the
person who started a dream birthed ‘authentically’ but has now been functioning
in ‘safe mode’ and the response from man has become more important that your
internal response. I am speaking to the person who doesn’t quite know who they
are but have made well with what they have been given. I am speaking to the
lost soul who is not quite lost just hidden among the rubble of insecurities. I
am speaking. I am speaking. I am speaking life. I am breathing breath and
desire into the universe as I give my authentic self CPR. I am speaking to the
abandoned, the abused, the misused, the misunderstood, the ignored, the adult
child still waiting to for their authentic self to be validated. I am speaking
to parents who don’t allow their child to make mistakes. I am speaking to the
parent who is not aware that they are killing the authenticity that will make
your child a true believer, a true worshiper, a true lover of her Lord and not ‘safe’.
There is no power is being ‘safe’. There is indeed power in being ‘authentically
real’ for in this state you can be used. Your safe self is egotistically driven
and its heart cannot be penetrated.
I am speaking to me. I want to live,
love, teach, dream, work, write, pray, laugh, cry, sing, dance, flirt, smile,
walk…..authentically.
Signed.
Miss Ebony.
