Wednesdays WELLness
El Adicto
The Addict
I am
addicted to an addict. With every ride you take, I find myself in the passenger
seat slowly dying with you as I know you are going too fast in lifes lanes of
speed limits. You act, I respond. You settle, I dream. You lie, I listen. You
smile, I cry. You die, I die. My soul is intertwined with yours as I take your
injections as a sacrifice to prove my love for you. I love you, I love you but
you are not equipped to love me. I see you through my desire for you while your
craving is stronger than anything I can ever provide. I told God: Give me
riches so I can give them the best life had to offer. Give me more time Lord
that I may give them more of me. Give me a stronger heart that I can withstand
the darts that are flying at me trying to kill my faith that things could be
better. Give Me Lord, so that I may in turn Give.
I am
addicted to an addict-El Adicto-The Addict
Today I say
Give me Lord: Serenity. Lord grant me acceptance, grant me courage, grant me
wisdom. Today, I am not puffing and passing on this lifes journey with you…I
pass. I am in my own 12 step program trying to wean myself off of you. You are
my addiction as I give you the best part of me, leaving me with nothing. You
are my addiction as I cry at night wanting you to see the white picket fence I
dream about as your actions become the hammer chipping away at the white paint
on the wood. You are my addiction as I become Abraham sacrificing my one and
only future in an attempt to falsely please my God.
I am
addicted to an addict-El Adicto-The Addict
I love you.
I love you to the point that it hurts me. I love you. I want you to know that
as I am on my own recovery journey I am learning to love you while letting God have
you. You do not belong to me…you belong to the King. I also belong to the King,
and as he purges me of you, I become proof that addictions can be broken. Lord,
have YOUR way and as you instruct me in the small matters may I yield even when
I don’t understand. May I repent when I relapse and start again. May I remind
myself of what your word says about me. May I stand on every promise. May I get
the support of others. May I stand and not become entangled in that bondage yet
again.
I am your
child but I am not a result of your mistakes. I may have been born with this
addiction by default but I shall not die with it.
I am
addicted to an addict-El Adicto-The Addict
Until next time ladies,
Meet me here, draw from
here, quench your souls thirst here at Wednesdays WELLness
Signed,
Miss Ebony
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