Ive been perplexed the past couple weeks as I
received word that my mother had become homeless. As much as I understood the
treaty that I would not allow myself to become entangled in the outcome of her
addictions, my heart remained heavy. With every phone call of family informing
me of her declining state my heart ached silently. It hurts to know that for a
living I pride myself on helping people find their way while I find myself
lost more often than not. With every dart that is thrown through the phone line
presenting itself as a courteous informant I became enraged realizing there is
a smile of satisfaction that my eyes cant see but that my heart can feel. Since
I can remember, the ones who loved us most made it their business to expose
that which should have been private and spoke death when life was needed.
Although I realize that it is their insecurity, jealousy, and unhappiness
that drives such madness it hurts just the same. I am aware that the curse of
life has swallowed my parents in a world wind of poverty, drugs, alcohol,
abuse, bargains, sexuality disparities, and the like. I am also aware that the
curse has been broken! As my heart weighed heavy I needed a visit from my
Father and He didn't come empty handed:
It is time for you
to give birth to greater. I detach you from your original source of life. I
release you from your neonatal intensive care incubator state. What they eat you shall no longer taste. What
they inject you shall no longer feel. What they do you shall no longer reap the
residue of. I am preparing you for greater! The umbilical cord has been cut.
With my direction you will learn to live on your own ability to thrive. The
connections that fed you before I give you permission to bite that hand for you
shall not return to that table again.
I am your source
and will sustain you in EVERY aspect of your life. You are strong, you are
mighty, you are anointed, you are free! I am preparing you for greater. New love shall you know. New purpose shall
you be given. New life has been bestowed upon you. Let your heart not be
troubled for I will forever carry you above what they say. They have no power!
May your compassion be girded in prayer and supplication during this season for
I have overcome the world. May your love
be reserved yet strong and unwavering, May your control be released into the
hands of Him who loves thee. No it will not be easy but my yoke is as ye abide
in Me.
It is not what you
go through its how you feel about it. How you feel about it, it based on what
you believe…believe me daughter, believe me. Listen to my voice alone for it
will determine how you go through. I cannot lie. I shall preserve you for such
a time as this…that my dear is your testimony. Never allow your circumstances
to determine who you are! The enemy can alter the “how” but he cant alter the “who”.
Remember, the blessing is on “you”, the favor is on “you”, the promise is on “you”!
Welcome into the world my health baby girl….and I name her Ebony, EVENEbony.
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