I am gone but I am still here...

I am gone but I am still here. You may not see me as you scroll through your newsfeed posting selfies, sharing revelations, encouraging hearts, displaying funny anecdotes, exposing charades of a single female and the like…but I am still here. I will share a few reasons for my social media departure but the substance and conviction of it all lies between an understanding between me and HE. No, facebook is not the devil and quite frankly it is used in a variety of ways by many that take businesses, personal relationships, entertainment, and declarations to the next level.

As a person who is a loner yet has a lot to say, Facebook seemed to be the better option for me regarding staying connected while fulfilling some level of purpose through encouraging self-love, self-preservation, and forgiveness of self.  Then came a season when I began to question the authenticity of it all. Did I become so high strung for being entertained and entertaining that there were two lives in which I portrayed: My Life & My facebook life? It became evident that you either knew me or you knew me on facebook. Not that there was a vast difference regarding my personality or character but my Facebook life was very filtered and targeted. It was filtered and targeted for security/safety reasons but it became more of a “what do you want them to know/see…yeah give them more of that”. So who were the “thems”. Hmmm….at any given moment I truly had no idea and this became ludacris to me.  Yes, I “knew” every one of my “friends” listed but the energy/time/effort put into keeping them “informed” seemed quite irrational. So how do you tackle that?...you limit what you post right?...Ta dah! Uh no, because then you become a ‘newsfeed scroller’ taking in the bafoonery posted as you form opinions, shake your head, laugh, turn up your brow…etc etc etc. As you create this false sense of mere entertainment facebook then becomes your life. Dinner conversations are revolved around whats on facebook, men don’t have to court you, they just create this facebook love affair, Friends don’t call they just like your picture so you know theyre there-these and other shenanigans disgusted me and I screamed: I WANT MORE! I want to live one life and share it with those I love the most. I want to know that what I look like, how I feel, & what I think need not be validated by the masses but understood and appreciated by my God and those who take the time to enter my most sacred circle. There is a world of people, entertainment, and platforms that are available to me that I can see, touch, smell & embrace; I owe myself this journey and not cheat myself by settling for social media. No, facebook is not the devil and quite frankly it is used in a variety of ways by many that take businesses, personal relationships, entertainment, and declarations to the next level. In this season I just want to try something a little different J.

It has been a few weeks and yes I feel so disconnected; I have no idea whats going on.lol. I am forced to spend my down time doing something else. I reach out to friends more often, even if just through txt. I am forced to write more and pray even more. To be who I am without sharing it with the world has allowed me to question my intentions and examine my heart. I know my deactivation was abrupt but I didn’t wanna join the “Good-bye” facebook base of people as you receive comments and inboxes begging you to stay.lol. It has been quite interesting though running into people and them asking me why I haven’t been on facebook. I have mixed feelings about those interactions but I can save that revelation for another day and maybe one day my thoughts will render another dolla.

 

Until Next Time Dear Hearts, I am gone but I am still here. #EvenEbony