Balance your Brilliance

 

 

I appreciate the seasons when I am so full of music less lyrics. Just as a songwriter my many notions are driven by experiences or something my eyes capture that make you go hmmm. I have learned a great lesson from songsters and some of my favorite authors. Both have a story with a tune that can capture the hearts and souls of many. Both can articulate a concept that has millions screaming “I concur”. Sitting still turning the pages of your truth I find freedom, I find conviction, I find hope. As a fan I then become perplexed when I am gleaming from your liberating confession just to find out in real time you are drowning in defeat. As a social worker, teacher, writer, and believer I have lots of theories, philosophies, beliefs, and quotable moments. As a human being I try not to get so wrapped up in what I am saying that I forget to examine what I do. That is why I share and write out of season so that when I am in season I can totally commit to self and insure I remain a class act. Although I have the ability to smile when it hurts I declare that I shall not go home with that smile and deceive myself. I shall find balance in what I know and what I live.

It is always a tragedy when you see a preacher fall prey to the very thing they teach others to live victoriously over. Some limit it to just their being human but I have to dig deeper and assume there was not a balance of role vs. reality. The greatest of them all understand that they must employ time to examine, discover, reprimand, love, forgive, reestablish, and reaffirm themselves and not make this a part of their public platform. My advice to you is to find balance. When you spend this private time alone and with those who hold you accountable you build up your mercy muscles and you build up your grace muscles as you are constantly reminded that “If it had not been…”. If you neglect this balance you then turn into the problem child that has discovered a new truth or alternative way of living as they miraculously forget their former ways and begin to use this new measuring stick to judge others. # diet # religion #natural hair #smoking…. Let us all enjoy what we do while not forgetting we should be our first client genuinely and authentically.

 

With Love,

Miss Ebony

#evenebony

 

 

 

black me...why you?

My new vow: I shall not participate in any more discussions or

 

forums as to why black men do not desire black women. This

 

process is very self defeating and with the shifting of blame theres

 

never really any real resolve. Why do you even ask me? So that

 

you can attack my nappy hair, my sassiness, and my inability to

 

be...."white"? Listen: pink testicals, brown testicals, black

 

testicals...just love me, support me, cherish me, protect me and rub

 

my feet every now and then. ‪#‎thatsall

 

 

The best couple....The better couple

 

 

 

The Best Man….Better Man

1.Loves God and freverently seeks him for guidance and counsel.

2. Loves his wife, I mean really loves her to the point that her happiness and contentment is his ultimate goal. They may not always agree but his respect for her allows him to state his stance and move on without tearing her down or leaving her feeling worthless.

3. Loves his children and is available to them as their confidant, teacher, disciplinarian; his daughters first love and his sons first boss.

4. Makes an honest wage to provide for his family.

5. Is always honest and forthright with his wife regarding business and personal affairs.

6. Is a man of integrity; well respected in his community, in the work place, and in his place of worship.

7. Is a visionary and is eager to take his family, business, and faith to the next level.

8. Is conscious, alert, and prepared for tragedy and hardship while having a sense of humor that eases pain.

9. Has a heart of forgiveness while not having to worry about morality issues within his home. He bleeds faithfulness and insures that the fire doesn’t die in his home.

10. Monitors and Promotes the physical health, spiritual health, global awareness,  & personal achievement of his family.

 

The Best  Woman….Better Woman

1.Loves God and freverently seeks him for guidance and counsel.

2. Loves her husband, I mean really loves him to the point that his happiness and contentment is her ultimate goal. They may not always agree but her respect for him allows her to listen to his stance and respond without tearing him down or putting his manhood on the chopping block.

3. Rears her children with love and respect. Offers them direction, correction, and stability.

4. Is willing to stand in the gap for her family when called upon by her husband while maintaining her main responsibility: the home.

5. Will share with her husband the issues of her heart without firey fury.

6. Is a woman of service; her heart goes out to the poor and barren.

7. Is a help mate and is eager to stand behind her husband with full support and love.

8. Is conscious, alert, and prepared for tragedy and hardship while keeping her heart light and laughter present.

9.  Has a heart of forgiveness without having to worry about morality issues in her home. She bleeds faithfulness and insures that the fire doesn’t die in her home.

10. Guards and provides provisions for the physical health, spiritual health, global awareness, & personal achievement of her family.

writing & believing

 

 

“I write entirely to find out what I'm thinking, what I'm looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear. I ‘believe’ for these very same reasons.  As a believer and a writer my truth is that everything that happens to me is a resource. All things have been given to us for a purpose, and an artist must feel this more intensely. All that happens to us, including our humiliations, our misfortunes, our embarrassments, all is given to us as raw material, as clay, so that we may shape our art.  Inevitably, writers are the exorcists of their own demons. Inevitably, believing brings peace. Inevitably I have become a brave writer and a brave believer”.

Hurting Men

 

 

 

 

 

 

There's always been a major focus on wounded women but I am finding that there are more and more

 

men who have been hurt and carry such a strong defense that makes it impossible to be in

 

relationship with them. It's devastating meeting a great guy that's been hurt because the damage done

 

causes him to 1. Keep you in the limbo zone. 2. Sabotage your efforts to love him. 3. Put you in the

 

"what if y...ou are just like..." category. When dealing with a wounded person it's a catch 22 because

 

you have to decide A. I deserve better and am moving on. Or B. Ride it out. Either way you take a

 

risk and have to be adamant about not losing yourself in the process. No matter what don't stop

 

loving and don't stop learning. Nothing is in vain... #evenebony

 

 

My ultimate hope is that when a relationship, a job, community expectations, the judicial system,

 

religion, or any element that causes a man to buckle that he will dares to be strong. This being strong

 

is his willingness to be weak; making himself vulnerable and receptive to recovery with the help of

 

those that love him. Our Kings need and deserve respite care. May they receive it, become

 

strengthened, and as a result lift their homes, their communities, and their churches higher. I am such

 

a sucker for black love...witnessing its miracle power is such a wonder. Yeah.....a hopeless optimist is

 

what I am.

Mentorship

I woke up this morning laughing at how my imagination

plays out my rebellion so vividly that I am entertained by the

thoughts I myself create.lol. I sat at the edge of my bed with

one particular young lady on my mind and all I saw was her

poking me, playing in my hair, trying on my clothes,

whispering in my ear blah blah blah…I then get up an

attempt to run from her and she grabs my right ankle and

although this slows me down I still keep it moving on my left

foot dragging her along hoping she will fall off while I wiggle

my right leg gesturing her to gone somewhere. Moral of the

story: I have to rid myself of every excuse as to why I don’t

prefer to mentor young people. I am a product of an adult(s)

taking a greater interest in me outside of what they were

“responsible” for doing. I know that deep down inside I have

a junction to share my life experiences and God faithfulness

with young people while involving them in my journey of

achievement. Until then… I shook her off my ankle, kicked off

my heels, ran and hid behind a door. I am now sitting behind

the door murmuring: “Lord I spent my whole life rearing

children, aint nobody got time for that”, “I promise ill become

a mentor just give me about 10 years to do my own thang”. I

aint even gone tell yall what He said but im sure your guess is

correct. #i really do love the kids, just on my own terms.lol.

Personal Tidbits...follow up from Facebook.

1. My favorite color is red and when I was growing up I was tortured for wearing red and living on the northside. Cuzz for life fool!lol.

2. I have met and had private meetings... with 2 U.S. Presidents.
 
3. I secretly still like Mickey Mouse but im glad I grew out of the phase of wanting an open face gold with mickey ears in it.
 
4. I have a very creative niche and can spend hours in stores like Hobby Lobby, JoAnns, Michaels, Pier One...
 
5. I use to do community organizing in Lexington, KY.
 
6. I have scheduled bathroom breaks and scheduled crying sessions.lol.
 
7. I like to write and most times its not politically, socially, or religiously correct but its my truth so I share hoping to inspire someone to explore their truth.

8. I cant stand chocolate cake or chocolate icecream but I do like brownies and snickers.

9. I haaaattttteeee when people are late.

10. My love languages are gifts and words of affirmation.

11. I received my Masters in Social Work from KU and I really don't care.lol. *insider*

12. I loooooovvve my siblings.

13. I dance in the mirror half naked with heels on.

14. I really enjoy teaching and training, it really gets my juices flowing.

15. I love Jesus and his campaign to heal the broken hearted, see about the forgotten, provide for the poor, heal the sick, free the bound....

16. Ive never had a boyfriend that I introduced to my siblings as someone serious. Hmmm...Ive never really had a boyfriend.lol. Tuh..up until like age 27 I didn't want to have kids or get married...funny how things change.lol.

17. Cant nobody tell me I cant sing and rap. On the TLC tip!lol

18. I am outgoing yet very reserved.

19. Today I love my life and the people in it.

20. I have my freedom papers and am learning to be free :).

 

HAPPY FOUNDERS DAY SORHORS!!!!

Ratchet

The diary of a diva who desires to be ratchet:

 

The thrill of ratchetness intrigues me as women drop it like its hot, yells YOLO, and rocks a bird nest as a hairstyle (dyed three times). The freedom that surrounds this concept is secretly desired by me as I am well aware that ‘they’ shame the culture of being a true diva. Being a Diva takes much work, much thought, much preparation, much execution and follows a strict law of diva norms while being ratchet is unrestricted, limitless and executed with such a great level of mind-numbing stupidity that there is no sweat off the brow. The unfortunate thing is that neither culture can be impersonated as you either have it or you don’t. I am left with the reality that if you give me the most ratchet outfit, a grill, a tattoo across my chest, and turn me lose in a club I will probably curl up in the corner and die but in my dreams I am queen ratchet where everything goes. Until next time I am left with the reality that the highlight of my day is dumpster diving for furniture pieces that I can reconstruct into a work of art. What is a simple diva to do when she really wants to be ratchet?! *rhetorically speaking*. Now I have a few ideas but the Lord is gonna have to rush this Boaz campaign before im too old to get back up once I drop down…he he.

A letter to my Brother...

 

You have always been quite peculiar. Not a man of many words but of much thought. I sit and wonder often if your thoughts consume you. Do they inspire you or discourage you. Do they give you life or create a garden of slow death. Do you dream dreams or wonder why things had to be.

 

I pray for you more than I pray for myself. I pray that surpassing peace will surround you as you find your way. I pray that favor will flood you. I pray that the right people will enter your life. I pray that love with rain, rule, and abide. I pray for your finances, your health, and your future. I pray for your future occupation that they will offer you the salary of a King and benefits of Royalty. I pray that those resources will build a home fit for a Queen to whom you will release all monies to.lol. May she be a lover of the Lord, wise in her dealings, humble in her approach, girded with strength, and committed to service. Hmmm...hell I guess I hope shes like me.lol. I pray for your children. That you will be the Priest, Prophet, & King of your home. That you will rear your boys to be men and your girls to me ladies. That you will provide for them, love them, care for them, support them, be present for them, and leave them something to build upon.

 

You are an overcomer, a beater of odds, a curse breaker. Because you have chosen a route different than what was handed to you I declare that many doors will open to solidify your refusal to be a man of the streets. May the abuse of substance never enter your life and commit to destroying you and your seeds. May you respect women/love them and never allow your wrath to cause her emotional or physical harm.

 

I am beyond proud of you! Im not gonna beat you over the head with God talk but I want you to spend much time in prayer as I will be in agreement with whatever your hearts desire shall be. As you continue your journey of pursuing higher education know that you have already won! This new journey youre taking of off campus living is causing me much grief as I have only been able to cope with you being away by telling myself you were on an extended vacation. Although I cry at the thought of you not having a reserved bedroom at my place I want nothing more for you than for you to be a man and handle business as a man. Im having a very hard time letting go but i know you will be fine. Lord keep my brother safe and give him the discernment needed to make the right decisions. Promise me youll keep my key on your key chain and every now and then stop by and take out my trash :(. Make sure you call first....tee hee hee.

 

Ive watched you grow into an outstanding young man and watching you leave the nest is bitter sweet....more bitter than sweet though. It seems just like yesterday you were riding your bike around the projects trying to make it home before dark. The days of me buying Jordans and Jerseys are such a distant memory yet a close recollection. There is a lot that bonds us together and as you embark on this new journey of independence know that I will still climb a mountain or swim across shore if you need me.

 

 I love you and will make it my business to drive down 29 and make sure your room is clean! I love you brother. There is a special place in my heart that only you reside and I will take you with me no matter where life may take us.

 

Many Blessings,

From your big Sis Ebony