evenebony

If you don't know her then you don't know me. Im shining today but she's the real celebrity. I've only introduced her to a select few, my most prized possession...there's only one you. #evenebony

He who casts the first stone....

Listening to morning inspirations again and over the music and my dramatic interpretations I hear the answer to a question I asked God last night: I asked him…what would cause someone to lie, cheat, steal…from someone they say they love? He said, “I don’t know, you tell me. You say you love me and you renege on promises, are not always faithful, and give sparingly”.  As I hang my head in shame, I know now why he continues to plant seeds of forgiveness in my heart, because it’s the true testament of His love.  At any moment when I want to line my enemies up and throw stones at them, He has a funny way of reminding me that as flawless as I think I am, I deserve a brick or two upside the head. Forgiveness is not always an act of reconciliation seen by man but a heart condition with the belief that everyone deserves mercy. Forgiveness is freeing because we know that we fight not against flesh and blood. Besides, if you are being called to forgive this is a sign that you have already won. When a sports team wins a game the benefits are so great that shaking the hand of their opponent and wishing them well is no sacrifice at all.

Then I arrive to work and I receive an e-mail from a firefighter thanking me for my service to citizens in need describing me as “an expert practitioner in system advocacy”. This made me smile as I understand one of my greatest strengths is holding people and systems accountable in a tough love kind of way. Then the Lord interrupts me patting myself on the back and says: Where is your mercy? I called you not only to do justly but to love mercy and walk humbly. I was appalled, declaring that I consider myself sometimes aggressively passionate but I am kind. He says, “Kindness is selective and can be manipulated to prove a point but Mercy is giving something that is undeserved from a special place in your heart”.

I wanted to tell Him to go mess with somebody else but I could kind of tell He wasn’t in the mood for my shenanigans this morning. :/

 

Special Grace...

If you are joining me from Facebook just read the bolded section, if not....enjoy the post in its entirety :)

Wednesdays WELLness

 

 

Driving to work I am listening to my morning inspirations and thanking God for giving me what I dont deserve and I hear the Lord say: “I have given you a special grace, because I love you that much”. Of course my flesh was like: OK we got a little more time, lets keep the party going! *symbolically people, symbolically. keep the party going represents the nature of doing what one wants and wills with no harm or foul*. So....of course the teacher in me wanted to know what is 'special grace', and does everyone else have 'regular grace'?lol. But to my surprise after a little investigation the following was discovered:

Common grace is a lower degree of grace than special. The latter succeeds in overcoming the enmity of the carnal mind and the opposition of the sinful will; the former does not succeed. Says John Howe, "When divine grace is working but at the common rate; then it suffers itself oftentimes to be overcome, and yields the victory to the contending sinner." This was the case with the people of Israel as described by Stephen, "Ye stiff-necked and uncircumcised in heart and ears, ye do always resist the Holy Ghost, as your fathers did, so do ye." Acts 7: 51. The same complaint was made against resisting Israel by Isaiah, " They rebelled and vexed his Holy Spirit; therefore he was turned to be their enemy." Isa. 63: 10. The same failure of common grace to subdue the sinner is noted in Gen. 6 : 10, "My Spirit shall not always strive with man." Whenever man quenches conviction of sin and plunges into temptation in order to get rid of serious and anxious thoughts, and the Holy Spirit leaves him to his own self-will, this is common grace. The process is described in the solemn words of God himself, " Because I have called and ye have refused; I have stretched out my hand and no man regarded, but ye have set at nought all my counsel and would none of my reproof, I also will laugh at your calamity, I will mock when your fear cometh." Prov. 1: 24-26. In common grace, the sinner is too obstinate and self-determined in sin for it to succeed.

In special grace, on the other hand, the Holy Spirit does not leave the sinner to his own self-determination, but continues to operate upon his resisting will until he subdues it. He " makes him willing in the day of his power." Ps. 110 : 3. He " works in him to will and to do of his good pleasure." Phil. 2 : 13. He " makes him perfect in every good work to do his will, working in him that which is well pleasing in his sight." Ileb. 13 : 21. This grade of divine grace is higher than common grace. It is denominated " irresistible," not in the sense that no resistance is made by the sinner, but in the sense that it conquers all his resistance. It is also denominated " effectual," because it secures salvation. It is also called " regenerating," because it changes the disposition of the sinful heart and will by "the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Ghost." Tit. 3:5.


Surprisingly I don’t have a commentary or defending response I am just sitting here like….so you tryna say I aint got a choice.lol. Grace is not about more time to play but the acceptance of an inevitable destiny. I love God I really really do, I think the problem is He taught me to love myself too soon. Ha ha.

 

Series III: Fathers, Daughters, and Sex-Esteem

Fathers, Daughters, and Sex-Esteem Series continues….This campaign of celebrating Fathers will continue into July via my blog. I have had an overwhelming sense of support and responses that I have had to pace it accordingly. Fathers to daughters have a special place in my heart and I want them to know that their presence is THE single most component in her life. This week’s highlight is on my top 5 fathers list. He is a man of few words, great wisdom, and a work ethic that in incomparable. He takes on a village mentality, which is honorable beyond words. It is notable when a man is a father to his own offspring but when he becomes a “community father” is when he takes on a different mantle that makes me believe that no good thing should be withheld from him. 

*Highlights from his responses*

When asked what he would tell a young girl with no father his philosophy was to dispel that there are no good men out there by being a good example and filling in that gap for her father. He believes that good men should be willing to bear the weight of bad men and the pains of the wounded young girls.

He thought it was important for adult women to know that she should never take any abuse and that until she gets to know herself she cannot offer a man anything. He believes she needs to know the importance of not settling and being patient. He wants her to let God build her up and reveal to her her ultimate worth.

His advice to men raising daughters was to continually build her up and be her protector. She should know that God has a plan for her life and that she can accomplish anything. Telling her how beautiful she is and that you love her she be done continually throughout the day.

 

 

 

Series II: Fathers, Daughters, and Sex-Esteem

Continuing in the spirit and season of celebrating OUTSTANDING fathers!

Series II: Fathers, Daughters, and Sex-Esteem

 This segment was completed with the valued understanding of both the interviewer and interviewee that: Fathers play a vital role in how a woman later views herself physically and sexually. It is with the understanding that a daughter who has a healthy father figure in her life is able to express herself as a physical/sexual being in a higher esteem and appropriate manner than those daughters who did not have a healthy father figure, that we move forward.

This segment was also quite interesting because I was called upon by the interviewee to share my personal experience with being a child without a healthy father figure but having the privilege of being an adult-child now with a father figure and having to relearn and restructure my beliefs as a woman. Yes…there were tears shed on both ends :…(.

See highlights of the interview below and in the coming weeks check: www.evenebony.blogspot.com for the audio, visual, and manuscript of all the interviews.

Oh…please excuse the language my fellow holy people.

Oh…one more thing. It was me, the man I interviewed, and a doll that sat in a chair for him to refer to for demonstration and real life responses.

 

E: If you had to stare in the face of a young girl who experienced Sexual Abuse what would you tell her?

T: Damn. Umm. Shit I wouldnt tell her nothing I would just ask for his name and address.

E: As flattering as that would be and probably appreciated, lets assume he is dead. I need you to speak to her heart, her mind, and her spirit as if she were your own. I need you to know that 1in5 girls are mishandled sexually in her youth and I need a word for them, not from another victim that survived but from a man.

*silence*

T: Ebony this is too loaded for me to begin with but this is what I would probably say: That man was wrong and all men are not abusers. I would tell her that he is sick and needs to be dead or live under a jail. Ebony, I don’t know what I would say. *shakes head*. What should I say?

E: You did good. Its important for girls to know that the person was WRONG. Trust me, it speaks volumes, when a young girl hears a man validate her experiences with no hidden agenda. That’s why the voice of a father is imperative not optional. There is a different level of healing that takes place when a man shows concern for a woman. Its unfortunate that many girls fall into the arms of a man that mishandles her story and re-victimizes her with his carelessness and selfishness. I want you to know that as a father, your listening ears and validation is enough….trust me its enough, no magic wand or words needed. You are doing well, that’s why I have you here.

 

 

E: Lets change up a bit, If you could share advice to adult women regarding sex what would it be?

T: Men want it and they will do almost anything to get it. Count up the cost and if you don’t want it, then don’t do it. Sex does not make a man or not make a man do something, his intentions were already set. What I am saying is…you can sleep your way into a man liking you and you can withhold expecting to get something either. In the end, he will do what he had always intended to do. Women should move forward with her own intentions aside from his because moving at his pace will leave you confused and frustrated. Say what you want! Believe me when I tell you 99.9% of the time men make no real secret about their intentions with you. Women can fake an entire relationship, men cant. *laughs*. The problem is women don’t see the forest for the trees, they see what they want and not what the man shows them. We are not creative enough to play you forreal, women are just too insecure to walk away.

E: Whoa! Time out! Huh? We are insecure?lol.

T: You stupid. Yes yall are and we know it. The trick then for us becomes if she is just insecure or is she insecure and crazy. Now, if she is crazy and will blow a casket when I don’t be who she is tryna force me to be then I have a situation but other than that we were made for this.

E: Oh so insecure like I don’t think im pretty enough, skinny enough, or smart enough?

T: Na, not quite. I have dealt with some beautiful women but lets face it most single women have a complex whether they admit it or not. Shit...married women do to but that’s another story. Listen, what it boils down to is that women want to know the mind of a man so bad she wont just bow out, she wants to exhaust every possibility not realizing a man is a man and there are certain things youll never know unless you are the one.

E: Mmmm ok. So should I feel special because you are totally breaking the man code right now?

T: Special? Eh… lil limbs you are definitely something kinda like special. *laughs and winks*. I believe in your cause so its whatever really.

E: Ah Ha! I get it! So what youre really saying is na…chick you aint special.

T: Im glad you caught that. See…told you, its not rocket science. *laughs*

E: All jokes aside… you already know.

 

E: Ok now that I am totally blushing, last question: What is important for men raising daughters to tell their daughters about Sex?

T: Don’t do it, it hurts, youll catch a disease and die!

E: Would you stop?!

T: Alright, damn why you tryna make a nigga get all sentimental. Ok, what would I say? Shit…its simple: Tell her the truth and make sure she understands that any boy is initially my enemy.

E: What is the truth?

T: Come on E, give me a break my daughter is only 6. *laughs* Alright, Alright, the truth is it can be good if its with someone you love, and it can be the worst decision youll ever make it its with the wrong person. Waiting til marriage is great but being realistic I want my daughter to know that its on her terms that I want her to move forward. Don’t let a man tell you truth-lies and you believe them to justify not wanting to be alone because youll have to bear the cross in the end. Know your worth and know that for yall whats between yalls legs and yalls heart is the same organ….theres really no difference. So to me daughter, I want her to think with her mind, intuition, and daddys discernment, then in the meantime get a dildo or something.

E: Ummm…I think im gonna stop here because I could take this so many ways but I will say this: This fall I am doing a virginity challenge for all women who are not technically virgins. The challenge consist of coming up with a list of things that you will ONLY do with/for your husband. The list does not have to only consist of sexual standards but overall areas in which we may compromise. Each womans list will be different considering we all have different experiences but the goal is to know that no matter what you have ‘given-up’ there is much more you can “keep”. I think this initiative will be empowering for the non-virgin believer and non-beleiver.

T: Do yo thang lil mama. Oh…are you asking for my help?

E: *stares him down*

T: Aye, whatever you want cause it appears ive lost my man card anyway and need to be wearing panties as soft as you tryna make me.

E: You are not soft, you are an inspiration and I am so grateful you took this time with me.

T: I Love you too.

Series: Fathers, Daughters, and Sex-Esteem

A Fathers love is the closest earthly experience a person will have to that of the Divine God the Father. As he leads, instructs, provides, loves, corrects, protects and serves as King to his wife and children. He understands that his role as a Father is a mantle that goes far beyond the ability to plant a seed but even when no seed in planted he finds his way seeking to rear one that may not even be his own.

His role is taken for granted and underestimated as we praise single mothers, independent women, and equal rights. I know I am the most feminist sexist you’ll probably ever meet but I enjoy my womanhood yet embracing all that manhood may encompass. As a woman I believe that Gods greatest creation was Man, and I actively seek opportunities to remind them of their greatness.

May this Fathers Day season we set our pride aside and begin to speak what we desire regarding our fathers, may we gird up enough strength to seek forgiveness beyond tolerance but reconciliation, may we not only praise our beloved fathers but build up those that may be struggling. We need our Fathers and to make an attempt to exclude them from our family dynamics does our home, community, work place, church, and world a disservice. His home is his training ground to fight the battle this world may bring as he pursues his dreams, provides leadership, creates safety, and manifest global change.

 

Snippet from a live interview with the father pictured below: Pierre Stewart and his daughter Bracey Stewart. Pic taken by yours truly, months ago after church service. I teared up as I saw their sacrifice to push their way to midweek service as it drew dark outside and cold inside with homework yet to be done. With great joy she wore her dads coat as he offered her guidance with her studies. I didn’t know then what purpose this capture would serve me but I knew it spoke volumes and I didn’t want to miss it.

 

E: If you had to stare in the face of a young girl with no father what would you tell her?

P: I would first tell her how beautiful she was, full of talent and promise.

Second, on her fathers behalf I would apologize for his absence.

Third, I would ask her to forgive me for not being a good dad in the beginning.

 

E: If you could share advice to adult women regarding relationships what would it be?

P: Men lie…*laughter* But if he really likes you, he will eventually tell you he lied…*more laughter*. No really, I would tell her that men know what they want and there is no need for her to make the process easy for him, don’t underestimate what we would do for what we want. I would then tell her that time is on her side, don’t fret and don’t settle.

 

E: What is important for men raising daughters to know?

P: Loving their mother is the single most greatest gift you could give them. She watches how you treat women. Believe it or not how you treat women is not always seen but spiritually understood and discerned by young ladies. Why expose them to that non sense and have to watch her on the receiving end of that soon. Support her the same way her mother would. Take interest in the ‘girly things’ because this builds a bond of trust and leaves communication flowing. Gift her great things and support ALL that she does.

 

Facebook in the Month of May

Random FB Posts in the Month of May.....

Christian women if you are so inclined to have heard from God regarding who your husband is just know that it's just FYI. The union cannot be ordained until God reveals this to him and he chooses to pursue you accordingly. Trying to chase a man or conveniently make yourself available will cause unnecessary heartache because he just might not be ready. We must do better at allowing our Godly men to stay on the potters wheel. Your were called to be a help not a hindrance. #evenebony



The moment your voice is not limited to the words you say but your very presence demands, commands, instructs, and edifies. My most rewarding moments are when someone 'gets it' and I say nothing. It's in your look, your touch, your dress, your posture. I pride myself on not letting anything go unsaid. Now I can keep my peace and speak loudly. I'm just glad I'm still here to tell the story... #evenebony #snippetfromWordshavePowerpublicationentry

Wednesday WELLness 'summarized' as I sit in the chamber board room at Union Station realizing i won't have time today to give you a full entry: The moment you pride yourself on believing "If you give me an interview, I'll get the job" is th...e moment you realize real leadership is being approached to fill a role because of who you are and what you're able to contribute. Be unforgettable in your current role and your promotion/dream job will find you. May your success be WELL!!! #growtoceo #nomoreinterviews #theyrenoticing #evenebony #unionstationpanelist #kcchamberofcommerce #eyeofatiger #hearmeroar

 

 

 

Head between legs reciting: Lord keep me humble. Humility of heart knowing that if it had not been for your favor, I would not embark on these journeys. Seeking you for the "how to's" and "what not to do's" while regularly sending you my heartfelt "thank you's". Humility is not about appearing humble for the approval of man in an attempt to prove your humanness but a heart condition understanding that as you rise (literally) you must subsequently descend (figuratively).
#evenebony
#onthebrinkofsomethinggreat

‘He’ said he will love me like ‘He’ loves me. WOW! That is some kind of love, and I will purpose it in my heart to submit accordingly that our lives may be richly blessed and our children may prosper. He wont love you because you are good, but because he loves you he will make you good. There is serenity in him giving himself for you and you giving yourself unto him. My dad said yesterday: People ...are good at being who you want them to be to get what they want. I couldn’t agree more! We must have a personal and spiritual measuring stick to determine and discern if someone makes the cut. Know that this information should be kept private for once you share it, it becomes an aim for someone’s deception. There are things that only me and God know and ultimately it wont be a secret, side swipe, or a surprise because I stay ready. The problem with love/relationship publications is that the one needing the advice is not the only reader. I believe our biggest battle is knowing someone doesn’t make the cut but our selfish desires keep them around for instant gratification hoping it will buy us some time. #evenebony

 

 

Depression is real. I know what it's like to feel hopeless and weary. No matter how blessed others perceive you to be the cloud of darkness follows you enabling you to see, feel, and believe the truth that there is indeed light. To the depressed...reach out. To the trusted party...listen with no judgement or magical/spiritual rebuttal. Just provide opportunities to do something simple,fun,relaxing...,rejuvenating. One day of hope turns into two which turns in to many.

 Yes...there are people who use depression, domestic violence, illnesses, hardship and the like to perpetuate and take advantage of the pure in heart but know that it should be of no concern to you. As long as you live...use wisdom and provide comfort and offer help as a blessing to those who know not what they do.

#evenebony

Maya Angelou

Indescribable emotion; just still/just silent.
Reflecting on what a life fulfilled looks like.

Although my accomplishments are many, I've been blessed with seeing many places & shook the hand of some of the greatest; living a life many only dream of my desire is to have an expected end. An end when the period is strategically placed and there is no question that I accomplished to do what I was sent for.

Indescribable emotion; just still/just silent.
Reflecting on what a life fulfilled looks like.

#evenebony #RIPMAYA

 

 

 

 

 

Beautiful Black Queen

My Beautiful Black Queen
Every black mans recited scene
Yet he loves the color of the fence in the American dream

What will they say
What will they think
If I bring home a girl with a little kink
With a little sass
With a little twist
Full lips and wide hips?


A younger version of my mama is my public platform plea
While my manly hunt for the opposite is my hidden reality
TV and History spells out what beauty should be, so like a slave my actions are loud and my convictions a whisper as I declare the innocence of illiteracy when I really can read.

Choosy brothers choose Jiff
Oh wait its brown....
so I declare Im not hungry while eating bread with no edges tryna force it down

Im not appalled that its me you dont see in the mirrors reflection of beauty
Its when your words call me beautiful but your heart doesnt really desire me
Dont get on stage with your "Beautiful Black Queens"
But Im not invited backstage because of my dark skin


You see my worth
Understand my strength
But to raise a family with me is not your delighted picketed fence


Imagine an abuser declaring his love
A liar resounding boldly the truth be told
A cheater publishing books about faithfulness
A thief driving a Brinks truck
A soldier with no inner fight or battle gear
An activist declaring equal rights for everyone but queers
A heterosexual kissing their own kind
A police with delinquent drunk driving fines


Take your vows, make your pleas
Just let them be the words you live by and not a rehearsed elegy

No longer will I be your 'cute for a black girl' exception
When I know that I am an honest mans preference


#evenebony

Love

Love

I have never really known you, but I know you.
I have never heard you, but I know what you sound like.
I have never felt you, but I know the healing of your embrace

Love

I have studied you
I have yearned for you
I have been promised you
You belong to me and I patiently await your arrival

Love

I know what youre not through my experiences
I know what youre not through my hurts
I know what youre not through my disappointments

Love

You live in me
I give you
I breathe you
I commune with you
Yet I know you not

Love

If you feel anything like a child playing in my hair or walking on my back...I welcome you.
If you feel anything like a pedicure after a long day on my feet or a cool breeze in the heat...I welcome you.

Love


#evenebony



I will let you enjoy the words of the infamous Barbara Mason as she declares "Yes, Im Ready"





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JGPcOkebXc  

I don't even know how

to love you
Just the way you want me to
but I'm ready, ready to learn
Yes I'm ready, ready to learn
to fall in love
to fall in love
to fall in love
with you

I don't even know how
to hold your hand
just to make you understand
but I'm ready, ready to learn
yes, I'm ready, ready to learn
to hold your hand
and make you understand
to hold your hand
right now....

Imaginery Friends

 

As a child I had imaginary friends that were a part of my real life.

As an adult they have grown with me and we still talk.

You may have to ask them for my wedded hand or contractual business plan.

I ask them if you're a real friend, my night and shining armor man, or if this interaction is forced by my flesh that'll convert into a lesson.

I believe in humanity but there's nothing like my imaginary friends.

I say I'm a loner and enjoy quiet nights at home but the truth is I'm technically not alone.

Why is it a secret...well what would the world think? They already thing I'm crazy recommending a shrink.

PTSD makes you create a new world no one can see.

My imaginary friends became my family, my serenity.

Was it the Holy Spirit disguised walking beside thee or are they really just different forms of me?

Either way they are loving, loyal, proven tried and true.

They aren't jealous when I connect with someone real.

There ultimate goal is to have someone take their place, so that I experience loves touch for real.

They'll never abandon me but take extended stays

to allow for that touch feel of cotton, the fabric of our lives.

Where do they live?

Under my bed.

They come out to listen to my day

Or have dance crave parties in the mirror with a brush and hair spray.

They age with me which means we'll perish together.

I wonder if they'll have children so they can play with mine during life's stormy weather.

My imaginary friends

My Words...The Key

 

My words may mean nothing to you now as I embrace this training ground.
I know Maya knew the caged bird could sing when it muttered not a sound.
Oprah was aware she was great when she was victimized through rape.
Nikki G was the artist and the crowd, as no one heard her screaming aloud.

When you are famous everything you do becomes famous.
It matters not today that I use cottonelle but tomorrow it’ll sale off the shelves.
Where I go will become landmarks.
What I endorse will turn gold.
What I give will be priceless, held on til its old with hopes of being sold.
My normalcy will make headlines.
My life will be revered.
My death will be a mystery to uncover what was hid.
My words may mean nothing to you now but this is why I share:
In a world where there are free prisoners, the best rescuer is one that has been rescued with care.
Reaching way down to a pit of people silently screaming “Give us our free” with no chains, no locks, just a distorted reality.
I am only able to relive what was done to me when I watch someone else become free; for the life of bondage I once knew will never again be.
I don’t know what to call us…some call us writers, some call us revolutionaries, others call us preachers/prophets, life coaches, moguls, entrepreneurs, phenomena’s, philanthropists, proprietors and the like.

All we know is that we were once silenced and when we found our voice, what came out made history.
All we know is that we didn’t look the part but when we discovered the beauty within every major publication tryna squeeze us in.
All we know is that they said we would be nobody because of where we’d been…but look at us now, where were going no man can comprehend.

I am enjoying sharing via the web as there shall come a day that a publicist will be typing while im on vacay.

My words may mean nothing to you now as I embrace this training ground.
I know Maya knew the caged bird could sing when it muttered not a sound.
Oprah was aware she was great when she was victimized through rape.
Nikki G was the artist and the crowd, as no one heard her screaming aloud.

 

My words may mean nothing to you now as I embrace this training ground.

I know Maya knew the caged bird could sing when it muttered not a sound.

Oprah was aware she was great when she was victimized through rape.

Nikki G was the artist and the crowd, as no one heard her screaming aloud.

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                                                                                                             

Mama I made it....

 Mama,

I was at a high school sharing 'my story' and it dawned on me for the first time that I had made it. To have those students eagerly inquiring of my journey and feeling honored to shake my hand, get a hug, or receive a personal word of encouragement made me feel like a local celebrity. No I have not arrived but I have certainly made it. There were many instances when I did not think I would make it. There were many instances when people said I would not make it. Instance, after Instance, after Instance.....yet I made it!

As you find your way to recovery I honor you knowing that your one truest wish was that I would make it. Well...this mothers day season I want you to find peace knowing that I did. I remember vividly the times you would pray for your children. Whether you were intoxicated, neglectful, absent, or abusive there remained a sincerity of heart for your baby girl to be more than you could ever give her. Your own need to be loved didn't allow you to give what your heart desired and your own demons sabotaged what your truest intent was BUT GOD heard you! He loves you sooo very much! What a blessing it has to be to give birth to a generation of curse breakers! Glory! Something kinda like a biblical Mary if you ask me. People didn't understand why she was chosen to carry such a game changer but God knew. Mama I made it. No I have not arrived, but damn it I have made it!

Know that everywhere I go, I take you with me. All that you were not able to do...know that it is being done. I will always be known as Eulas daughter...and your legacy will forever live on. You  could have aborted me but you didn't. You could have left me in a dumpster but you didn't. You could have let the system have me but you didn't. You loved me...your chocolate butter ball. Yeah...you loved me. You still love me today...

No today I don't have a house on the hill to put you in but I give you my words, which means more to me than anything considering circumstances tried to steal my voice.

I am learning to be free and with this freedom comes revelation, forgiveness, and peace. My prayer is that freedom comes to you as well. May your knowing that I love you- free you.

You know how I know ive made it: because I sit at the same boardroom table of those that where my teachers and in some instances they work for me.lol. Quoted from a high school teacher asking me: how do you feel that I work for you?- cause he was tinkled pink knowing that he could take credit for my success. Well by dear, so can you :).

Happy Mothers Day Eula Fay Duncan

Queen

 

 

 

How can you give love and show kindness to someone you know has nothing to offer you nor any intent to reciprocate? Simple...When you are a seer you act of your position and purpose not out of the present circumstance. You learn to be quite... secure in the love, kindness, and security you are receiving from another source(s) . That's the beauty of being loved by somebody 'for real' and knowing who you are 'for real', it's almost like you have a bullet proof vest on when dealing with the contrary.

Think if of it this way; When you know who you are, how you feel doesn't matter. Feelings are deceiving and will have you living a sub standard tit for tat life as a King or Queen. Kings and Queens don't just sit on a thrown and look pretty, they have a responsibility to peasants as well.

When The Star asked me what is this EvenEbony concept. I replied: I don't know how to answer that today for it has not all been revealed but this I know: it's a brand that will have multiple components for the purpose of creating a platform for individuals, corporations, communities, and the world to take 'it' to the next level by finding freedom through the art of expression (which can come in many different forms). It's not a business...it's a campaign .

#POW
#lackingnothing
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Wednesdays WELLness

The moment God says "no more entertaining idle relationships, where I'm taking you they can't go. truth is they don't like you anyway. when will you learn you will never have a host of friends and I have not called you into casual dating. repent and release them. your attempt to be all things to all people and normalize yourself is causing your virtue to be robbed. you are different, accept it and... move on".

The moment being different causes you to feel rejected and unloved when in reality your deposits and fill ups are pre arranged/ordained as you've settled for cheap gas along the way causing you not to run as smoothly. This is the season you will ride that cheap stuff out and await the premium gold I had for you all along. I will maintain and place the right people in your life that I have hand picked for such a time as this. Be encouraged, the best is yet to come!

#2:00 am call from heaven#this time i didn't roll over and play dead
# I guess we will use this as evenebonys Wednesdays WELLness cause I'm at a lost for words and have nothing else to share.

So much more was revealed but this portion is public posting worthy. Feeling some kinda way but all shall be well. I hope somebody else is able to draw from this right now word and be blessed .

Artistry

Nikki Giovanni says: "True artists believe the human spirit cannot be tamed and should not be trained". It's no wonder why there's a constant battle between art and religion. I love God the creator of all things beautiful. When I am in creative mode I feel free a...nd defiant; I feel like a subservient ruler. Truth is I live in creative mode. I pray that my creativity is not mistaken as double mindlessness or luke warm"ish" as I explore the unexplorable, do the unthinkinable, say what's unspoken and live on the edge. I am an artist and a Christian but am no Christian artist.lol. #evenebony

Me and Mama

TBT- My Mama, My Sister Ivory, & Me (I believe my brother Arion was in the womb)Easter many years ago. I think I was 8 but don’t quote me. This picture is quite bittersweet for me as I look at it and see an era of innocence stolen, addictions surfacing, and childhood becoming adulthood. But then I am reminded that despite poverty, tragedy, and abuse Eulas kids are a testament of Gods Grace, Mercy, and Miraculous Power. Although my mother is on the cycle of the relapse of recovery I ask God to help me believe her each time as if its her first attempt. I honor her for never giving up although childhood abandonment/neglect/ and abuse, intimate relationships, addictions, povertys hand and mental illness tried to overthrow her. She is a fighter and believes in prayer and that alone planted a seed in her children that will outlive her for many generations. I vowed to be all that she could never be for I know her greatest desire is to see her children make it. Forgiveness is ongoing and she will forever be a thorn in my side but I am learning how to love forreal as I listen without judgment, encourage when I need encouraging, see her as a Queen unaware of her thrown and understand that when the Father sees her and me we are one in the same: a sinner needing redemption through the blood. I tend to be an exhorter by nature as I give words from my heart but if you follow my blog theres a story behind my optimism, love, hope, and forgiveness. Today I share a vulnerable piece of me with you…Happy Throw Back Thursday World! <evenebony> . Its raining today…

Love on the Stand of a one nighter....

 

The moment someone comes up with a set of rules regarding relationship “how tos” “must dos” and “never dos” is the moment you experience the greatest time of your life and learn your most crucial lessons  doing none of those things.lol. The games we play stifles me as we spend so much time trying to outsmart the other person and present morally sound when our inner dummy and hoe is just waiting to scream “SURPRISE”.  I enjoy hearing how people find love and quite frankly they all sound vastly different but the savor seems to be the same.

Let your experience & your inner voice guide you as you determine what works for YOU and what doesn’t. Be aware of what YOU want, What YOU don’t want, and Where YOUR wiggle room lies. Be who YOU are knowing that somebody has either 1. Been looking a long time just for your quirky make-up or 2. Good, Bad, or Indifferent is in desperate need of what you can offer even if they don’t know it yet, as the missing piece to their puzzle lies in you. Contrary to popular belief, love is available to EVERYONE. Nothing you can do disqualifies you. Those that consider themselves worthy because they’ve crossed all their “T”s and dotted all their “I”s are in no better position than those who consider themselves unworthy and worthless due to their past mistakes.  OooOwEE  now that’s the kinda God I serve, raining on us all is in justness. Now repeat after me: Whether I burn every meal or burn like Paula Dean theres somebody for me. Whether I am fat or skinny there is somebody for me. Whether I  am bald or Rapunzel is my mama there is somebody for me. Whether I have a PHD or GED there is somebody for me. Whether I have much or little there is somebody for me. Whether I believe it or not THERE IS somebody for me.

My only advice: Constantly work on being YOUR better YOU so that assurance alone is in agreement that you deserve the best. What is the best? It cannot be measured by the standard of man but something only you and your Creater can comprehend.

 

So whether its a one night stand or a wedded hand...whats for you is for you. Please don't shoot me, just accept the lesson for what its worth. Its no secret that marriage is a honored covenant but with the divorce rate I think the conversation needs to change a tad bit...im just saying. *wink*

 

Live. YOUR OWN LIFE.

Learn. FROM YOUR OWN VOICE.

Laugh. WHEN YOU DO WHAT YOU SAID YOUD NEVER DO WHILE FORGIVING YOURSELF TO JUST LIVE, LEARN, AND LAUGH AGAIN J.

<EvenEbony>

 

 

That was for This....

 

The moment life reveals to you…That was for This. Today I stand in awe of where my adult journey is taking me. I don’t have a clear map but I am certain that every opportunity is leading to something greater. I remember as a young girl having my first job as a 4-H mentor. Ironically, it was not the traditional 4-H of agricultural studies but it was one of literacy hence the ASAP that followed it: After School Academic Program. Coming from a single parent home on welfare and public housing I was just looking for an opportunity to make some money so that I could buy what appeared to be finer things for my siblings and I. The culture of being ‘the better of the bads’ perplexes me today but was definitely my reality then. That was for This. My 4-H experiences set a precedence for a journey that I am now recognizing will not only give me purpose but compensate me for my trouble. My 4-H experience exposed me to entrepreneurship, programing, fundraising, grass root initiatives, public speaking, public policy, educational outcomes and the like. Through my 7 year youth experience with 4-H I was able to meet local funders, travel to Jefferson City (which is a big deal for a girl who never left the city in which she lived) by train, be a part of the programing process, make a difference through accountability, and see a world outside of the one my parents created for me. I received scholarships, local notoriety, and  national recognitions in which I was sent to Washington to convene in meetings with then President George Bush and America’s Promise Chair Colin Powell. No, my home life was no crystal stair but I had a  place I could go and recharge and for that I will be forever grateful for 4-H. This movement employed my grandmother, aunts, siblings, neighbors all while training a generation of leaders. That was for This.

As a young professional I struggle with staying true to the heart of grass roots efforts while understanding the importance of corporate sponsorship. That young girl from the 1200 block of Kansas City rises up with each new opportunity as I declare I refuse to sell out. My biggest fear of going to college was that I would lose my connection to the core of who I was…I did not want to change. I prided myself on my ability to be a scholar and a hoodlum.lol. As I moved closer to receiving my degree in hand it was very clear to me that I had indeed changed. My friends where new, My mind set had shifted, My desires where soaring, My goals were transformed, I looked different, I walked different, I talked different….I was different. In an attempt to shake myself loose I declared I would become a social worker in the inner city and work for local agencies that were making a difference. Within a few years I was not fulfilled pushing papers, qualifying people for services, approving referrals, and making the state so much money but seeing no systemic change. As a result I returned to school and received my Masters with the hope of transitioning from direct service/clinical work to one with more of an administrative focus just to find out that because I was under 30 with a pipe dream no one really took me serious.

Sitting in my office at the Good Samaritan Project two years ago I was applying to be the Director of Case Management. I nailed the interview with my ability to captivate the audience, share my vision, and enlighten them on what they would gain. Aye, 4-H did that! My ability to stand in a room of decision makers and state my case believing I had the right to be there was cultivated in me when I was just a little girl. Sadly enough, (not really but…) they chose another internal candidate who had served a longer term as case manager than I had. During this process I was interviewing with the United Way of Greater Kansas City as a Medical Social Worker for the Citizen Assist Program. During these processes I reached way back and sought out professional references from yesteryears and knew no one would be a better candidate than that of Miss Neldra Flint of 4-H ASAP. In my youth she was our Michelle Obama. Her commitment to our progress while exploring higher heights for herself was incomparable. (Ok, put I book mark here, I shall return). So I took that same vigor in with me and gave UW the best that I had and to my surprise (not  really but…) I was offered the position making just as much as I would of as Director of Case Management while working for the “Whos Who” among the nonprofit sector. During my final interview with the CEO of United Way it was made mention that the recommendation they received from Neldra Flint was the most moving they had ever heard. My jaw dropped and my eyes watered as I sat at the table of an organization that funded inner city efforts that I benefited from and now I was invited to sit amongst them as colleagues and peers. This connection with my youth experience and adult promise was heavy in my spirit as I had recently (during my time at Good Samaritan Project) was asked to speak about 4-H for a promotional video and had gave sentiments during the retirement celebration of Leon Moon who was the youth development specialist for 4-H, which basically boiled down to there wouldn’t be a 4-H without him.lol. That was for This.

Ok fast forward to today as I am soaring on my ride with United Way meeting and greeting with the citys greatest leaders from Mayor Sly James, to the CEO of UMB, to the Kansas City Chiefs and the list goes on. I was invited and attended a ‘growtoCEO’ yesterday evening that consisted of anybody who was anybody in the city. This initiative through GenKC is to cultivate young professionals into future  CEOs through local entrepreneurship, local policy making, local arts initiatives, local non profit movements and the like. MMM….does any of this sound familiar?! That was for This. So during the reception as these people made out of money perused the room, eating, drinking, and having small talk with us young professionals that young girl from the 1200 block of Kansas City began to rise up declaring Im way out of my league. The giggling, the gestures, the political jargon all made me sick to my stomach as I declared I would never attend these after-hours festivities cause I aint in it for the money. But there was an entrepreneur spirit that rose up and said…baby this is necessary and you’ve got what it takes. Within a few minutes of trying to shake Shanquinita Alize Ebony Jenkins loose I did what I new best and made a lasting impression that will continue to put me before great men. I am not even going to lie, as a social worker there is a cultural struggle with being ‘corporate minded’. Working for measly pay, and measly conditions becomes a badge of honor but yesterday I desired something more. I was introduced to a new culture of the non profit sector that I didn’t even know existed. This is where the change is made and the real money is exchanged. Loose here you hoodlum I tell myself jokingly.lol. Ok now I want you to go back to where we placed the book mark regarding Miss Neldra Flint, OUR Michelle Obama. She was the face of 4-H. Not only did she grind in the trenches I know now today she put on her corporate hat and made those experiences possible. I couldn’t even tell you what her title was but looking back today I would consider her an entrepreneur, personal consultant, program developer…..Having her in my life planted a seed of greatness that I was not able to comprehend until today. She would come on our side of town with her nice car, nice clothes, proper language roll her sleeves up and get to work. She was someone to be revered yet we had regular access to her. One day she would be stern/mean/and adamant about what she expected and other days she was nurturing and loving. I knew this was both business and personal for her. She invited us to her home (which was immaculate) where we broke bread and laughed about everything. We met her family and they embraced us as their own. She took us to nice restaurants and taught us how to conduct ourselves with class. Stand up straight, look them in the eyes, give them a firm shake, and state your claim….I thank her for this lesson. With so many shameful experiences in my youth I still knew that I was somebody -a gem awaiting her appraisal. As I embrace myself as a public servant I understand from her example that I can too do the work and be compensating for my trouble. There is so much bubbling on the inside of me that I just cant tell it all. I am at a place of reflection while realizing I am on the brink of something great…evenme, evenebony. My hope is that I too can be someones ‘Michelle Obama’ J. That was for This….

Green Grass

Wednesday WELLness

 

 

 

Do not covet what really does not exist. So many times we rattle to ourselves: How She…? What He…?! OMG They…? There is beauty in waiting on the “real thing” vs. being distracted by what people present yet deceive by the truth they omit.

Things are never what they seem, trust me your grass is just as green. The difference is yours may be cultivated, pruned, watered, and plucked authentically as you live a life of honesty and wholeness while your counterpart is slaving to maintain a field of never should haves, ignored red flags, and mountains of misery yet living a life of forged replicas as they introduce them to the world as their boo, or declaring they are going places with just one shoe, or hanging their degrees when they don’t really have a clue, or living in the old but declaring they are new; All with the intent to prove they are better than you.

Things are never what they seem, trust me your grass is just as green.

Play your own song

Pluck your own tune

March to your own beat

Trust me….

Things are never what they seem, trust me your grass is just as green.

Trust your instincts.

Be patient with yourself, Love yourself, Forgive yourself while training yourself to never settle for less than the best.

Don’t you get weary as it may appear that time is not on your side….trust me this is a lie. Don’t join your counterparts and become a slave to what you’ve spent all this time mastering.

Don’t let misery offer you membership to join her club with her subtleties of conversation masked as having your best interest in mind.

Keep your standard yet kick vanity to the curb.

Cast down every perverted fantasy quenching your mind and body yet leaving your soul thirsty.

 

Play your own song

Pluck your own tune

March to your own beat

Trust me….

Things are never what they seem, trust me your grass is just as green.

 

#somegrassisgreenercauseitsfullofmanure lollollolol

 

Signed,

EvenEbony