Don't get over it, Love yourself through it.

So many times life experiences send us into packing our bags never wanting to return.
While we must be honest with ourselves in knowing that when we leave the residue remains.

The more time goes by and you function "with it" you claim youre over it, you claim full healing has manifested, you claim you are walking in an overflow of forgiveness until you sit still and like a mighty rush of wind "it" overtakes you as you sit numbly crying and declaring 'I should be over this by now".

Certain events alter who we are and impact the course of our lives. With the smell of a certain cologne you are reminded, with a drive down a certain street we are reminded, in the midst of conversations seeds of "remember whens" are being deposited, while eating your favorite dish of food symbolism is being digested, as your favorite song plays you are mesmerized and taken to a place of the past. With all these encounters we just live life as if we are "over it".

We go day in and day out with these experiences presenting themselves as we become like a fly on the wall...after all we are 'over it'. The lesson I am learning and would like to share will you: Don't attempt to get over it, Love yourself through it.

It is very despairing to expect one to "get over it" "Getting over it" is asking you to ignore it, its asking you to pretend it didn't happen, its asking you to live defeated, to not look courage in the face, to not take life by the horns and declare I will be better because of it.

A moment of truth: the Golden rule of grief and loss is that you NEVER get over it but you can learn to live with it. You shall live with it and not die in it...that is VICTORY!

In times of uncertainty, when you're just not feeling like yourself I encourage you to wrap your arms around yourself and say "I am sorry that happened and I know it hurts", stroke your hair and say "Cry baby, Cry, look in the mirror and say "You are beautiful and worth every promise that shall follow 'this'", Buy yourself a rose and smell its distinctiveness while smiling and dreaming of a better tomorrow, Cook yourself a meal by candlelight with the best of china and declare 'because I made it through, cheers to me'.

I want me, I want you, to not circle the mountain of "getting over it" but climb the mountain of "loving myself, ourselves through it.

Until Next time,
Draw from here, Drink from here, Quench your souls thirst here
~EvenEbony~

Im not hungry...

We sit at the table with a familiar spread and eat what has been prepared. With each dished portion we are aware that the fullness thereof is not quite satisfying but we bow out gracefully declaring "at least im not starving".

 

When life turns up the heat I understand the strategy of acknowledging that things could be worse but I want you to take the time to acknowledge that your pain is valid and deserves TLC. Until you get to the point when you truly believe you are deserving of better true healing will not take place. Don’t prolong your freedom by reciting “things could be worse” mantras. I don’t want you to feel better about having trial because you COULD be dead; I want you to feel better about having a trial because damn it you deserve to LIVE!

 

My hope is that our faith allows us to choose life vs. allowing our fears to dictate a slow death. I know all to well what it is like to eat from a table where poison is being served. My life changed the day I removed myself from the table, declaring that I was not hungry when in 'reality' I was starving. I was starving for love but you mishandled me, I was starving for acceptance but you served humiliation, I was starving to be celebrated but you overpowered me with gifts that came with an eternal price that I could never pay.

 

Inject me with a dose of self love and I can look at my abuser and say "no more". I can flip the bird to anyone or anything that attempts to rob me of my better best. I can rise up and call myself blessed as I look myself in the mirror with no shame.

 

No more will I join you at the table for the meal in which you have prepared. No more will I pose for the camera and smile as if I am not wasting away from a malnutrition of despair. Give me my camera so that I can prepare my own meal and snap a picture gleaming at what I have prepared. Then I will turn the camera around and snap my own face to capture my own beauty and enchanting stare.

 

No more meals, no more pictures, no more red carpets leading to a false celebrity status. Give me one stool, one place setting, and a camera with a reversible lense. You shall live, eat, breath, and move on your own terms....YOU shall be free.

 

 

 

Signed, evenebony

 

I declare war...

 As the cards of life are distributed and I cant see the hand in which I have been dealt, I will remain confidant whether I have to play a ten of clubs or the highest joker. My ten of club just may win the suit but ill never know unless I play it.

2014 is the new year and just like the rest of the world I am girding myself with a promise that 2014 will be better that 2013. The greatest lesson I am learning is that "better"  is "better" when one realizes the previous is no longer desired, the lesson has been learned, and strides have been made to create a new experience. "Better" cannot be measured by whether something improves or declines but by the overall heart and mind condition of the pursuer. I am better even when I am at my worst.

No matter what I am working with; whether it be plenty or lack I will declare war. I declare war on fear. No matter my giant I will declare war whether I have a pebbled stone or a fully loaded machine gun. With a full stack of unknown cards in my hand one things for sure...I was created for this.

 

Each day I will dream, I will love, I will reflect, I will pray, I will give, I will be thankful. The first half of this first month of the new year I have consecrated myself to show myself whose boss. Ebony when its time to stop you will. When its time to go you will. When its time to be silent you will. When its time to believe you will. When its time to gather your body members to take you to the next level, all will be nsync and follow the instructions it has been given. I will do what I say. My flesh is under the subjection of its master and I will train it to do as I will regardless of the temptation to settle for less than my best...less than my "better".

 

Together, my full deck will work together for the win!!!!

 

2014 here we are...declaring war!