When life turns up the heat I understand the strategy of
acknowledging that things could be worse but I want you to take the time to
acknowledge that your pain is valid and deserves TLC. Until you get to the
point when you truly believe you are deserving of better true healing will not
take place. Don’t prolong your freedom by reciting “things could be worse”
mantras. I don’t want you to feel better about having trial because you COULD
be dead; I want you to feel better about having a trial because damn it you
deserve to LIVE!
My hope is that our faith allows us to choose life vs. allowing our fears to dictate a slow death. I know all to well what it is like to eat from a table where poison is being served. My life changed the day I removed myself from the table, declaring that I was not hungry when in 'reality' I was starving. I was starving for love but you mishandled me, I was starving for acceptance but you served humiliation, I was starving to be celebrated but you overpowered me with gifts that came with an eternal price that I could never pay.
Inject me with a dose of self love and I can look at my abuser and say "no more". I can flip the bird to anyone or anything that attempts to rob me of my better best. I can rise up and call myself blessed as I look myself in the mirror with no shame.
No more will I join you at the table for the meal in which you have prepared. No more will I pose for the camera and smile as if I am not wasting away from a malnutrition of despair. Give me my camera so that I can prepare my own meal and snap a picture gleaming at what I have prepared. Then I will turn the camera around and snap my own face to capture my own beauty and enchanting stare.
No more meals, no more pictures, no more red carpets leading to a false celebrity status. Give me one stool, one place setting, and a camera with a reversible lense. You shall live, eat, breath, and move on your own terms....YOU shall be free.
Signed, evenebony
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