Listening to morning inspirations again and over the music
and my dramatic interpretations I hear the answer to a question I asked God
last night: I asked him…what would cause someone to lie, cheat, steal…from
someone they say they love? He said, “I don’t know, you tell me. You say you
love me and you renege on promises, are not always faithful, and give sparingly”.
As I hang my head in shame, I know now
why he continues to plant seeds of forgiveness in my heart, because it’s the true
testament of His love. At any moment
when I want to line my enemies up and throw stones at them, He has a funny way
of reminding me that as flawless as I think I am, I deserve a brick or two
upside the head. Forgiveness is not always an act of reconciliation seen by man
but a heart condition with the belief that everyone deserves mercy. Forgiveness
is freeing because we know that we fight not against flesh and blood. Besides,
if you are being called to forgive this is a sign that you have already won.
When a sports team wins a game the benefits are so great that shaking the hand
of their opponent and wishing them well is no sacrifice at all.
Then I arrive to work and I receive an e-mail from a
firefighter thanking me for my service to citizens in need describing me as “an
expert practitioner in system advocacy”. This made me smile as I understand one
of my greatest strengths is holding people and systems accountable in a tough
love kind of way. Then the Lord interrupts me patting myself on the back and
says: Where is your mercy? I called you not only to do justly but to love mercy
and walk humbly. I was appalled, declaring that I consider myself sometimes
aggressively passionate but I am kind. He says, “Kindness is selective and can
be manipulated to prove a point but Mercy is giving something that is
undeserved from a special place in your heart”.
I wanted to tell Him to go mess with somebody else but I
could kind of tell He wasn’t in the mood for my shenanigans this morning. :/
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