Year of Yes

So Im trying to get into adding audio books to my regimen. My sister recommended that in this season of my life I should consider 'Year of Yes' had by Shonda Rhymes. Because I am not a "TV Person" I had never heard of this author but rumor has it that she is the writer/director of some major syndicated Fox TV Series Shows. Well anywhoo...the first few chapters lit a fire under my already gasoline saturated wood as a Warrior Princess. Say Yes for an entire year to anything that frightens you. WOW. Ummm...as a person who typically plays life safely this was a major commitment. The beautiful thing about such a declaration is that it is so unique to the individual. What scares you, may not scare me; what may be a major sacrifice of <doing> may not be a sacrifice for you. It is an opportunity to push yourself past YOUR fears. Now this does not mean you say yes when you want to say no. This is when you actually want to but feel like you cant or shouldn't or that you would neva. When the moments/opportunities come you will know it...your stomach will quiver and your mind comes up with every excuse why you cant. In an instant your spirit will say: SAY YES, SAY YES!

My first documented YES....

I got my septum pierced!!!

I have been talking about getting my septum pierced for over a year now but never really found the time or space to make it happen. After doing another very hard thing my sister wanted to go to the tattoo shop to get her nose re-pierced. I casually asked the pricing for a septum and was shocked how reasonable it was. My stomach started to quiver and my mind said:

-But Its gonna hurt. 

-But you're a professional, what are people gonna think? 

-What about your presentation next week?

blah, blah, blah, blah

Then in an instant my spirit said: SAY YES, SAY YES!

and......

I.....

DID!!!!!

It didnt hurt nearly as bad as they said it would and I can wait to kill this presentation!

Talk about pushing past your fears....that one felt good. I feel like a real liberated warrior princess now. Its only been week one. Lets see how this year goes.lol.

Although each YES may not be as rewarding, the act of doing it creates a memory that allows your life to be lived to its full. Heres to THE YEAR OD YES---Chapter 38.

Crush the Thirst

Does anybody crush anymore? I mean, old school I got my eye on you and nobody else will do kinda crush. I mean, a heart with me and your picture in it crush. I mean, daisy plucking does he love, does he love me not crush. I think they call it thirsty now. My Lord, peoples appetite today consist of more consumption, yet less filling satisfaction. My prayer is that you find that one…that one crush that wont break your heart and after the prize has been won…the crushing will never stop.

Thirty-Eight. Rain. Warrior.

Turning 38 has been quite reflective for me; Not yet 40 but far from 30. I have experienced life in many magnitudes and I stand here better and stronger...for that I am grateful. Then there is that other side of me that says: though I am grateful for the panning out of my life "working out" in such a miraculous way, I just want to be "HAPPY". This can mean something different for most people but my spirit bears witness to what that means for me. Being Happy is giving myself permission to dance in an unforcasted rain instead of looking for something to cover my head, rushing inside, spending time trying to figure out how I didnt know it was going to rain when I have 3 weather apps, then making plans to make rain boots a part of my daily carry cause I be damned if I get caught slipping again. *sigh*. That was exhausting to type...imagine what my brain does moment by moment. Happy is freedom. Happy is vulnerable. Happy is transparent. Happy is ok with mistakes.

I dont want to be grateful and content in the most solemn'ist' way but I want to be undignifiedly happy in the most Cardi B'ist' way. I dont want to function from a trauma brain when it comes to my love, my career, my health, my wealth, my God. I want to function from a comforted brain where each experience is a new one and I can be reassured/confident that no matter what all will be well concerning me. So in searching for this cross between Michelle O and Cardi B, the thought of that became ok with me.

Then I hear from Heaven...aha it is now time for you to move as the true WARRIOR PRINCESS that you are. My mouth dropped...and the tears flowed. It seems so oxymoronic but the concept brought me to my knees in a very submissive manor. A Warrior is a brave, experienced soldier. Boldness and Assurity is her portion. She is strong and mighty in battle just like her father...the King of Kings. Wisdom is the seat she sits in while Mercy is the cup she drinks from. She is dainty, She can be vain, She is a lover, She is a giver, Her heart is truly pure, but when the enemy tries to convince her she will lose; she declares that she will not go down without a fight. When the enemy tries to put fear in her heart to stop her feet from moving; she declares loudly that perfect love casts out all fear. When insecurity and rejection creeps in; she declares that she is fearfully and wonderfully made. When she feels alone; she is reminded great is thy faithfulness towards her. Ah, wonderful are the works of thy hands O' Lord.

So Who would of thought Happiness comes from walking in your true self, being exactly what you were called to be...and it takes a fight getting there. EvenMe. EvenEbony,

I have accumulated so many titles in 38 years of life...nothing like Warrior Princess though. This is less about what I do and more about who I am. Who I am will always come out in what I do. I was a Warrior Princess as a Single Woman, a Married Woman, and now a Divorced Woman. I was a Warrior Princess with no degree and I am one with three degrees. I was a Warrior Princess sitting in court as the defendant and I was a Warrior Princess as a Politician/Community Organizer. I was a Warrior Princess when I was poor and abused and I am a Warrior Princess with a lil change in my pocket and free. I WAS and AM a Warrior Princess....knowing and flowing in that is what will make me Happy.

Cheers to 38....not quite 40 but far from 30. Come on Rain...I aint playing with yo funky a**.

         

YOU ARE YOUR MOTHERS CHILD...

WELL...I havent been on here in hella moons! Wow. It feels so weird being in this particular space, considering this is kinda where it (freedom writing) all began for me. Blogging has become a thing of the past but I want to document an update and enjoy the nostalgic feeling that makes me feel so old as I am mesmerized by how this new generation documents 'lifes happenings'. I vow no matter how fancy the world gets..I will never give up pen and paper.

I am still writing "YOU ARE YOUR MOTHERS CHILD" and it will give birth to itself sooner that later is my gut feeling. So much has happened and changed and I want to share just some quick highlights with you:

My Mother: Eula Fay Duncan is no longer here with us in the flesh. Rest in Peace Mama. 

 

I cant begin to tell you what life has been like the last few years, but last year alone:

-I broke my legs and spent months restoring my ability to walk

-COVID was very real

-More civil/racial unrest

-I became unmarried

-I lost my dog of 15 years- Faith

-My transition/accident brought about a relocation and new wheels

(Thats all for now as im sure im forgetting things, I just decided to stop typing lol)

AFTER ALL THE THINGS IVE BEEN THROUGH....I STILL GOT JOY. 

Well...meet Even MeMoji which is just an extension of Even Ebony. You can find both still on my FB Page: Even Ebony. In this season yall im still writing, Im still living, Im still becoming, and I am still experiencing new freedoms as I find my way.

-Even Me---Even Ebony